June 30

Hello! Still (kinda) sick -> short entry today.

Overall, I felt pretty good. But that’s kinda bait. I had blood in my urine. Otherwise, I felt good. So I didn’t really tell anyone to the full extend. But tomorrow morning, if it’s like super brown &/ red I have to go to the doctor. Which will probably be the case.

For today: I just wasted time on YouTube. In the evening I watched a movie. It was about a basketball coach, who coaches in a really bad neighborhood, and then he teaches them all discipline (and then they obviously won most of their games). What did I learn? Nothing really lul.

Also, I coded a little bit. It was a simple algorithm to get a nash-equilibrium for a partner pairing. The algorithm is quite simple. Assume, everyone has a ranking of the women / men. Then, the men propose to the women in the way they like most. If a woman is proposed to, she either [says no, if she’s already engaged to someone better] or she [says maybe, if she hasn’t got a better partner yet]. Like this, you will eventually get a pairing, where no 2 pairs exists, such that they would be happier if they changed partner. But then, I read, that the men are getting a better distribution like that. So I coded a simulation to test that. And turns out, men do really get off better. Like way better.

Also, before I took a shower. I saw some spots on my leg, which looked kinda similar to the spot I had on my chest, where the dermatologist suspected, that I might have skin-cancer. Then I actually kinda spiraled. Like, what would I do if I had cancer and like 6 months left to live (or some not so long time). Turns out, I’d quit volleyball and studying. Also, I’d try to convince my brother to believe in an afterlife, since I think it’s too sad if he doesn’t. I’d try to make life as good for mom as possible, since I know, that she wouldn’t be able to handle it. And I would like to talk to my ex. Kinda to get closure. I know, it may be kinda weird and shit, since we haven’t talked in like a year, but still. Also, I don’t actually believe, I’d feel better, but I’d still like to do it.
All in all, it was very sad. Well, it made me very sad. Sometimes, I got teary eyes. Welp. Happens.

Not to end it too sad here, but there’s nothing more to say lol. (I don’t feel that sad right now.) That’s about all for today. I’ll see you again tomorrow. Take care & Bye-Bye!