February 18

My Day

Dear Diary! Today, I stayed at home sick. Nonetheless I did more than yesterday. Well, “more” in the sense of studying. I read some lectures, and tomorrow I’m gonna do some exercises. Other than that I did not really do anything. Well, watching a lot of YouTube – but it’s becoming kinda boring ngl. I think of doing a no-all again. That would mean no YouTube or any other social media thingies for that matter.

No-Electricity-week(s)

Speaking of that, I’m often thinking about a two-week-session of no electricity this summer. So cooking only with fire, no artificial lights in the evening, and so on. Basically only using mechanical energy (and chemical) but no electrical.

I think, that could help to answer some questions like the purpose of life. Since currently I’m (like a real mathematician) asking myself if it even exists. I tend to “not really”, so it would become to survive (and reproduce), and if I make it “harder” for myself, it should become more clear. At least that’s my current thinking…

Grades

Today, I got my second grade back. In the ODE exam I have a 4.0. This means I pass with the worst possible grade. I’m not really happy with that. On the one hand, it’s good, since I don’t have to redo the exam, but on the other hand: it’s really bad. And I feel like, if I retake an exam, I could easily be better than that…

Sickness Update

I’m improving quite good. I’m coughing less than yesterday (especially during the day – worse in the evening). On the other hand, my throat hurts more – especially when swallowing. I think, I’ll stay at home tomorrow as well.

Being over someone pt. 7(?)

Before when taking a shower, I was asking myself (again), what it means to be over someone. More specifically: How often can you think of someone, with being over them?

Now, it’s quite obvious, that I will never forget her (my ex), but I strongly believe, that with more time passing, I will think of her less and less. I expect it to be a sort of a exponential decay – so always decreasing, but never getting to zero.

With that in mind: How often is little enough, to start watching for someone else? I don’t really know the answer to that. Maybe, once I have like a whole week without thinking of her. But we’ll see.

Another (contrary) point to that would be: it’s quite hard, to get away from something, without another aim. In this context, this would mean: It’s hard to stop thinking of her, without another “crush” or potential partner in sight (to aim for).
But to that, I’d also say, it’s not entirely fair to the new partner, since you aren’t really done with the last partner, so it just feels somewhat incomplete(?).

In conclusion: I don’t know. Basically like ever before. I expect, in the end it will be just some thinking like “I’ve been lonely/single for long enough” and “I’m mostly over her”.

Tips for Next Relationship

A little while ago, I was kinda “researching” if there are any “predictors” for if a relationship will hold for a long time. And in one video I watched, the creator told us: If you have three questions to figure out, if you are in a happy relationship, you don’t ask questions about the relationship, but if the persons themselves are happy.

I guess that means, the “matching” of you and your partner is not that important. It’s more important, that you are happy yourself, then it’ll work out. So for the next relationship, I thought, in order to “measure”/ figure out how “good” the relationship is, I first need to figure out, how happy I am. Then ask myself for how “good” the relation ship is. So I can un-bias (in a way) whatever the score is. (With an arbitrary bias shift – mhm)
This is my one “tip” to myself for my next relationship. Asking myself if I’m happy, and if not, keeping that in mind when thinking about the relationship.

Sleepy Sleep

That is all for today. Since it’s already late in the night, I’ll go to bed shortly. I’ll see you again tomorrow. Until then – take care and Bye-Bye!