January 8

My Day

Dear Diary! Today was not an interesting day again. Usual morning, in the afternoon I was studying, then my mom came in my room and said to me: “We are going to the gym now”. So we went to the gym.

In the gym, I didn’t feel so good. I had a new PB on the low-row. Otherwise, I was feeling kinda weak… In the end, I was working out for about one hour. After the gym, I quickly went to a friend of mine, who lives near there. He’s a player of my volleyball team. He just got injured this Monday (two days ago). He told me, that he probably just pulled a muscle, so it’s not too bad.

Afterwards I headed home, got back to studying, had dinner, studied some more, and then watched a few episodes of “The Mentalist”. And now I’m writing (to) you.

Feelings Stage

Today I was feeling better than two days ago, but not as good as yesterday. This morning (afternoon), while studying, the memory of my breakup with my ex-girlfriend popped into my head. Now, it’s not that uncommon, that I think of her (or rather have some memories of her), but this moment always hits pretty hard. It always blocks like all thinking, and then I have to be cautious, not to let my mind run amok. Today, I dealt with it, by changing the music, and paying extra attention to it.

Every time this memory pops into my head, I feel bad. Sometimes I think, I should not have broken up with her. But then I (try) to remember, that I wasn’t really happy with her. (This sounds really mean, I don’t mean it that mean)

Then she’s in my head, and I usually wonder, how she’s doing (with the break up). I hope she’s doing good. It was basically the last time I spoke to her… It was like 3-4 months ago, but yeah. I wonder if (or how often) she thinks about us (or me for that matter)… I guess, I’ll never know.

A friend of mine told me once, that she thinks, that men usually feel worse later, and women more like right after the break up. I wonder if that’s true.

Usually, people say, that writing/ talking about things makes them better or something like this. But I gotta say, I don’t really feel like that. (At least right now.) Now it’s just all more open and active in my brain, so the bad feelings feel way more real/ intense right now. But who knows, maybe that’s the best long term strategy(?).

Why so Sad?

Now that I write this, I think, this feelings based approach is maybe not the best, because like this, it always ends with a sad touch. But hey, I’ll think about it!

So, in order to end this on a positive note, I gotta write something good to end this day. Just gotta figure out what…

I think, one good thing that happened today, was that I just finished the second chapter (of three) in my studies. Ah, and of course, my brother made Fajitas for dinner, which is always nice.

That’s it for today. Maybe I have more to write tomorrow. See you then!