March 24

My Day

Dear Diary! Initially, I wanted to study, like a good student, and then go to volleyball practice in the evening. Too bad tho, not enough people would come to practice, so we canceled it. This was already in the afternoon. So that means, I knew, that I’d have a free evening, so my motivation to study plummeted…

That means, this afternoon, I didn’t study a lot (listened to 2 lectures) but saved all the exercises for the evening. What a nice plan, isn’t it?

So in the evening, I also watched too much YouTube, and then I finally got to the exercises. They weren’t too difficult, but I had to figure out, how to do them, because I had to code in C, which I have never really done. But it’s nice.
In the end, I don’t even know, if I did it correctly, since I’m not sure, what the expected output is and shit.. But yeah, at least I’m done with them (since I have a team-partner who finishes them – sui).

So now it’s already late at night, and I’m soon going to sleep.

Feels

But contrary to what that sounds like, my day was pretty shit. I don’t know exactly what is going on, but I just can’t focus. My thoughts always shift to my ex, and things we did together. And then, I feel sad, and have to distract myself.

Today, it got to new peaks. Most of the time, I couldn’t even listen to music, since 1. I usually listen to music I like, which remains the same over longer periods; so 2. I have a lot of memories connected to a lot of songs, so… I think you see where I’m going.

The worst part is: I don’t really know, how to stop it. My mind wanders of, and then I feel this sad part in me, my heart begins to race, and I begin to zone (at least, if I don’t distract myself like a mad man…). So, all in all, today was shit.

Even right now, I don’t even listen to anything, and usually, I have music in my ears all day every day.

Because of that, I’m also kinda pissed at myself. Like hello??? Stop doing that! It ain’t helpin nobody!

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So that’s it for today! I’ll see you again tomorrow! Bye-Bye!