March 31

My Day

Dear Diary! Today was another wasted day in my books. I spent like 30-60 min programing my deep learning assignment. So now I’m like 80% done. And to be honest, it’s way easier with chat-GPT. I don’t think it’s dumb to use this, since in the exam it most probably will be math stuff, and not the implementing part.

Also, today I watched Beauty and the Beast for the first time. The last few days, I listened to a lot of Disney music, so I decided, to watch Beauty and the Beast. The film was quite sweet. The process of them falling in love. But I think, it would have been better, if Belle didn’t see the painting of the beast in human form. Other than that, I found the naming of the servants quite funny. All these puns. Well “puns” – just the french words. Like Lumière for the candle figure.

Otherwise: the last few days, I wrote more often with Emiliana. But today morning, she wrote a real hard text to answer in a way, so she can answer as well, so I (somewhat accidentally) ghosted her for basically the whole day. Whoops!

Also, Diana asked, if I wanted to go to the volleyball nation cup winner. (Well not as direct as I write here, but still – you know) But I declined. I need a volley break!

Reflection on Diary-Writing

With today’s entry, this marks a quarter of the way until Silvester. So, I think it’s time for some reflection.

I do more and less than I thought

This might sound weird, but in a sense, I thought, I don’t do anything besides studying and volleyball. But with writing this diary, I saw, that I actually do quite a lot of things more. But still, most day not really anything more. (Except wasting time – obviously.)

Also, I often think of some quote something similar to: “You live as long as you’re not dead.” BUT do I? I’m not dead, but am I really living? I mean, I don’t do a lot. So I guess “living” means, doing things. So in turn, I’m not as alive as I could be.
But then I ask myself: “What should I be doing?”, and this I don’t know…

Formulate Philosophy

As probably most do, I also (sometimes) think about the deeper questions in life. You probably know this, if you’ve read this diary. I also did that, before writing. But then, I only just did it in my head, so now with me writing it down, it is way better formulated. Why’s that? Because, if I only think about these questions, I forget a lot of my thoughts again. But if I write them down, I have to really think about them, so it makes sense to the reader. With that, I don’t forget them as fast, so I make “more progress” thinking about them.

So my philosophical opinion progressed a lot faster than it usually does. This also had another, unexpected, effect. That is: When I got closer to my “answer” of what the meaning of life is, everything else was somewhat less meaningful. So I couldn’t motivate myself to do shit.
I also believe, this is in part responsible for my “not so interested in volleyball”-feeling lately. (Even though it’s kinda cringey to say it like that, but you know.)

Would I recommend?

Yes. Also, it’s just nice, because in the future, I have like a biography of myself. So you know – cool and shit.

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I’ll probably do some more reflection once the next quarter is over. Otherwise, I’m done for today! So I’ll see you again tomorrow! Take care! Bye-Bye!