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My Day

Dear Diary! Today was nothing special. I was happy, that the sun was shining, but then was only for about 5 minutes outside. Funny how all this works.

I started donating to some jungle conservationist. Not a lot, but 25 bucks a month. Which is alright. It also felt, as if I did something huge, which it really isn’t, but yeah. Still felt kinda good tho!

Jokes

Today I was texting with Emiliana (a little) and I made a banger joke. Let me explain. Usually, I just send one “last” message, before I go to sleep. So yesterday night, I sent her a gif at like 3am. And then it went about like this:
– E: You should go to bed earlier
– Me: Yes Mommy; [some excuse that it’s just been unlucky and that I almost started to go to bed early at like 2am.]
– E: OMG! You would be in total despair with me. Yesterday I went to sleep at 9pm
– Me: Phew. Lucky me, that we go to bed together

haha! What a joke! Anyway, she didn’t ghost me after that, which was what I had expected initially! But she got me back and replied with:
Yess, I think about that daily!
Like damn! I didn’t even know what to answer … (haha)

Studying

Otherwise: I watched a few lectures today, and with that started to learn C (programming language). Quite confusing with all the pointers and shit. But it’ll come soon (I hope).

Of course, I also watched a lot of YouTube today, but it wasn’t too bad.

That’s about all I did today. I’ll see you again tomorrow! Bye-Bye!

My Day

Dear Diary! Today was weird(?). I hardly did anything… First, I slept too long (until about 10pm). Then I didn’t really do anything. FOR THE WHOLE DAY! Maybe like 30-60 minutes of math, otherwise only YouTube.

Deep Research

Actually, that’s somewhat a lie… I asked ChatGPT deep research a question. (Some part, to figure out how good it is, and partially, because I was curious.)
My question was: Is the (human)hunter population correlated with the vegetation intactness? (because animals do this naturally, but more hunters -> less animals -?> worse vegetation)
It turns out, deep research is really good. It wrote me like a short paper on this.

Thinking about Ex again – Sad

Oh, and I have a short confession. Yesterday, I saw something on a map, near the canaries, and then I spent some time more on maps. I then went to Tenerife and searched (and found!) the hotel where I was with my ex-girlfriend. I don’t really know why I did that, but it then brought up some good memories I had with her… This made me sad…
Now just writing this, makes me a little sad as well… But I’ll get over it!

Feeling Silly

Also, I am (still) texting with Emiliana, and somehow, (not really surprisingly) I feel really pathetic (or sad). Though, more like silly. Not important. So I think, I just stop texting her. Like a normal person would do!
Actually, recently I feel anyway, like most-everything is just really silly & not-important. I feel as if I’m doing senseless things & most of what I do is not important. I think, doing a YouTube detox would be good! Maybe soon!

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That’s all for today! I’ll see you again tomorrow! Bye-Bye!

My Day

Dear Diary! Yesterday, I forgot to set an alarm. But luckily, I woke up early today. Well; “luckily”: I am trying to adjust my sleep schedule. And it starts to show results!

So after getting up, I had a quick breakfast, and then headed to university, since today I had some TA action. Today was the first day, I didn’t use a winter jacket, but a spring jacket. And let me tell you: Wayy better.

Volleyball News

Once I arrived at the university, I suddenly got an email. It was from the volleyball association. In short, they wrote, that we may still rank up with our team, but we may have to play (and win) a short tournament. This made my day good – like instantly.

TA Fumble

Anyway, back to being a TA: It was nothing too notable. I of course had to answer some questions from the students. I had the solution of the old quiz open, and they had the reasoning for the solutions. Then one student asked, why a specific answer was true, and I replied like a dumbass: it’s written there. And in hindsight: this was a stupid answer by me. So in future, I’ll try to answer better. (For the other answers, I answered better.)

Prisoner’s Dilemma

Also, I had a short discussion with the phd-student who’s supervising this lecture’s exercise hour. We had a disagreement about the prisoner’s dilemma (since it’s in the next exercise sheet, which the students need to solve).
The exercise states that: They are a rational prisoner. What do they choose.

Now his line of reasoning was: Independent of what the other prisoner chooses, you have a higher reward if you confess. Therefore, a rational prisoner confesses.
And my reasoning was: Yes, this is true, if you have a “random” other prisoner (that is, if he may or may not be rational). But, if the other prisoner is rational: you can assume, that both come to the same conclusion, so you both should remain quiet. (Of course, I assumed here that “rational” is unique…)
Because of this discussion he then changed the exercise, a bit. So now it’s clear what is wanted.

But in all reality, the question is not answered as of yet. What would be the rational way of choosing. I asked around at home, and most said, to remain silent. But half of the reasons were independent of the reward matrix (haha).
If you have a good guess, write that down! (haha)

Rest of Day

After all that, I went home for lunch. Then, in the afternoon, I corrected the exercises from the students, and watched a lot of YouTube… That’s all that’s happened today. After all not too bad, I’d say. I’m gonna shower now, and then go to bed!

So, I’ll see you tomorrow! Bye-Bye!

My Day

Wake up -> Go to university -> Lecture for an hour about complex analysis -> go home -> Lunch

In the afternoon, I watched some YouTube videos, but nothing notable. After that, we had a volleyball match – again. The 2nd last of the mixed team. Because of that, I had to leave at like quarter to six.

Volleyball Game

The match was not too special. We won 3:1. The ref was a funny fella. After the 3rd set, he told both team-captains, that we should play “good volleyball – like at the end of this set. Not like in the beginning”. Which I thought was funny.

Oh, and also, in the fourth set, I smashed one ball on the 3m line. This is quite rare, even for me on mixed (WHAAAA??). But that was cool. mhm.

After all that, we went to eat in a MacDonald and then home again. Once back at home, nothing special happened. I just watched some YouTube videos, am really tired, writing (to) you, and now I’m going to bed. So I’ll see you again tomorrow! Bye-Bye!

My Day

Dear Diary! Today, I got up, and basically instantly headed to uni. (I had to take a shit, but since the cleaning-lady was over, I went earlier to uni, so I could use the toilets there. haha…)

University

Today, I had 2 hours of complex analysis lectures. And I gotta say, it was a good day for me. I’ve seen 2 mistakes the prof made, so that made me feel quite good!

After all that, Lorenzo asked me, to stay in the university, so we could solve some exercises this afternoon. We tried that, but we didn’t get anywhere. We actually tried (from like 1 -> 4:30pm) but we could only solve like 1 exercise…

Also, I saw Benji there, which is always fun. Because of that, I had like 15-30 minutes more break. We talked a bit – but nothing that interesting.

I left uni at like 5pm. Once I was at home, I quickly watched some YouTube video, dinner, and then we had the last volleyball game of this season (from the team I coach).

Last Volleyball Game

The game was actually really good – especially for a last game of the season. We were only 7 players, one of which was Daniel, who usually plays as a libero. But today we mixed roles (somewhat). Like: in the first set, Samuel played as an outside, and Leon as a middle. We even won this set, so not too bad.

Long story short. We won 3:1. The last point was especially good. Since: Alec announced (to us) before their last serve, that he will play it back instantly (in order to win the game). And surprisingly, the serve went to Alec -> he digged it over, and the ball fell. Right in the center. What a way to end the season.
(Over all of today, Alec played really good. This was one of his best games. He usually can’t really attack, but today it was probably his best attacking-day over the whole last year! So really good!)

Back at Home & Sleep

After this game, we showered, and then went back home again. There, I watched some YouTube videos, and now I’m writing (to) you. So that’s all for today. I’ll see you again tomorrow! Bye-Bye!

My Day

Dear Diary! Today hardly anything happened. The only special thing was, that I cooked dinner. I made Spaghetti Bolognese. It was good but not special.

Volleyball – no no no

After dinner, I had volleyball practice. Since, today we weren’t that many people, and we had a game yesterday, and tomorrow again, we actually didn’t do any volleyball. At first, we thought we’d use the trampolines. So we brought out the big mat with trampolines. This only used about 5 minutes, and then we decided on a new game.

We started with Badminton. Now, since the group before us, didn’t remove the volleyball-net, we didn’t have to setup a net for this. But from before we had 2 big mats laying around, which we could jump on. We then played a weird little variation of Badminton, where we have 3 touches per team. This was really fun. One player tried to jump on a mat, every time he played the shuttle – which was quite funny. (But not if you tell it like that…)

After that, we played a variation of baseball. One player had a unlucky time, since one time, he had the bat thrown into his balls, and then like 5 minutes later, he got a headshot, after I hit the ball. Luckily it was only a softball. But still.

After all that, we cleared away all the things we needed, and then went home.

Going Home

In the trainride home, a homeless guy started to talk with Daniel and me. Then I realized, it’s quite bad to be homeless. Not only because you don’t have a place to stay, but also since no-one wants to speak with you… So note to myself: don’t become homeless.
(Well yes, I talked with him a little, but only dumb things. Like, he was complaining, that the train was staying (as it should, since it was early) and then I said some things like: “Yeah – we would be there quicker if it moved already” or so. But this is not really a conversation…)

Beautiful Night Sky

Then after I left the train, I had to cycle a bit. And let me tell you: The stars were beautiful today. I even stopped for a short time, to really appreciate it. It was really stunning! I don’t even remember, when I saw this many stars for the last time.

Back at home, I just watched some YouTube, and now I’m going to sleep. I’ve almost got a normal sleep-schedule back. (Right now is 1:30 am which is like 2.5 hours earlier than 1-2 weeks ago.)

Crush somehow not attractive anymore??

Now this is something weird. Confession: I don’t find my crush particularly attractive (right now). This is really weird, since objectively speaking, she’s one of the 3 hottest women I’ve ever talked to / seen. But still. When I look at her, it’s not like: “WOW”. It’s more like I see her bad features (however little there might be). I don’t really know, why I do this… It’s just weird…

One small (but kinda weird) suspicion is the following: If I imagine women having sex with a man, this instantly makes them less attractive. Obviously. Now, I don’t really do this – but still. Since she has a boyfriend, this particularly makes her less attractive. (Of course, having a boyfriend, is kinda a turn off anyway, but you know what I mean.)

So that is something weird, I just wanted to say.

With that all done: That’s all for today. I’ll see you again tomorrow! Bye-Bye!

My Day

Dear Diary! Today I: Slept late -> Lunch -> Volleyball

Volleyball

At first, we had mixed match. We played against some other coaches from the club, which was kinda fun, since we both are about the same, so it’s always a long game. In the end, we lost 1:3… It was really weird. At first, it felt like it’s gonna be a good day, but then I played like shit! The only thing, that really worked out for me, were my top-spin jump serves. Theses were really good. I made 3 in the game, and 3 impressive points with that.
(Just for the protocol: The only set we won, was when Daniel was on the bench (we were 7 players). Ergo, he’s the worst player from the team – mhm)

So then after this match, we had another game with the team that I’m coaching. This was a bad match as well. At least we won 3:1, so now it certain, that we’re gonna be 2nd at the end of the season. But yeah. We are not happy with that.

Dinner

Silly Joke

And once more, I did a silly. I wrote with Emiliana, who had a meeting with the female-juniors-coaches (from volleyball). After some forth and back, she wrote, that she’s hungry. I then replied with:” I can give you a fry” to which she replied with something along the lines of: so generous, thanks a lot.
So then, I took two fries, put them in a napkin, and once we left, put them in her mailbox. I then wrote her that she should check her mail. She replied with “should I be scared”, and then “I now owe you a fry [laughing emoji]”.
And then also: “really cute, I had to laugh [emoji]”

So now this would all be cool, if she didn’t have a boyfriend. haha – sadge.

Trash war

After that, we (players who came to eat) went to a MacDonald drive through, to get some desert. Since we were too many, we were underway with two cars. We got some MacFlurry and then ate next to each other in the cars.
Once Daniel was finished, he asked us, if he should throw his finished-trash into their car. To which I jokingly replied with “yes”. And little did I know: Somewhat drunk Daniel actually did it. Fucking funny. Not gonna lie. But also silly. but funny.
After doing that like 3 times, we then went home again.

Home Again

Once at home, I watched some YouTube, and now I’m writing (to) you. So that’s all for today. I’ll see you again tomorrow! Bye-Bye!

My Day

Wake up -> Lunch

Don’t study like an idiot – YouTube is way better mhm

Play Trackmania with Daniel

Volleyball Game

Going to a volleyball first division females game with Daniel, Leon, Louis, and Emanuel. In the drive there, we were talking at first, but then also singing to some Disney music – which I was quite good at, funnily enough. Like an idiot, I put in the wrong address in the GPS, so we were there 10 minutes later than anticipated, but it was still just 15 minutes before the match begun, so all good.

Lots of people from our volleyball club were there as well. It was fun (I guess).
In the fourth set, I felt really silly. I don’t know. I was just thinking, “this all is really pointless”… I guess my 14 year old emo-phase just begun haha.

Does this mean anything(?)

Speaking of other people: Diana wrote me, to ask me if I’d come too. Which, I don’t really know, sus. I mean, we are friends, but still. Felt kinda like you know. Probably I’m trippin tho.

“Crush” – yeah

Anyway, Emiliana was also there. This was somewhat a surprise to me, but a welcome one for sure. We talked for a bit – yeah. After the game, we (a group of like 8 people) played with a balloon. Basically just “don’t drop the ball”. This was fun.

Clever Suggestion to Meet her Again

In this moment, I figured out, that they (the group of Emiliana) are going to eat after getting home – and she said, probably some MacDonald’s or Burger King.
Since we didn’t have any dinner as well, I asked if we (group) want to go eat something too – which we agreed to.
Then, some time later, I suggested the local MacDonald. And wouldn’t you know it: Emiliana was there with her group! So we ended up sitting with them. So that was some good detective shenanigans.

After this late dinner, we all went home. In the car-drive, Louis said:” I can see, why you like her. She’s not only good-looking but also has a fun-character. Too bad she has a boyfriend tho! Now you just gotta wait, until they break up. Just stay in her head.” (haha)Which is like the most teenage-boy-mindset, but kinda true (I guess).

Home Again

Back at home again, I watched some YouTube. Today was the final of the Redbull faster tournament. I was invested in how Spammiej would perform. Sadly he didn’t get to the final-final. Kinda sad, but tbh. expected.

After watching all that, I took a shower, and now I’m writing (to) you.

Bye-Bye

So that’s all for today. Nothing more to mention. I’ll see you again tomorrow! Good night!

My Day

Wake up -> go to hospital for routine checkup

Basically everything is good. Do a few extra blood test, and I get the results instantly in an app. I think this is really cool!

After that go home -> don’t study (smh) but listen to podcasts.
really interesting stuff. It’s with Paul Rosolie who is an rain forest conservationist. He’s a really good story telling. Some stories about living in the jungle, hunting, living, medicine, animals, connection to all, deforestation, conservation projects, and so on and so forth.

After listening to that, I felt a bit silly, since I’m at home, basically doing nothing, and he’s just out there living. (Basically what I was writing about maybe doing – which he is right now.)

That’s basically all that happened today. I spent like 10 hours listening to podcasts with this guy. He has some interesting things to say. But what I (try to) remember is, that we should just leave it all alone. No forestation; no gold mining; No contact to these u contacted tribes; “sustainable food from rain forests” which are sold in stores, are all fake -> cause deforestation (like 40% of deforestation is for food for humans). And most importantly, the cause is (mostly) money. WHAAATTT?? yeah….

What am I gonna do?

So now I feel a bit silly, and I was even thinking of doing some project like this myself. But then I think:” The way I could help most, is by making a good wage, and spending it.” Which I (maybe) am gonna do. At least, this is more likely than me starting a big project like this.

Also, when thinking about starting my own conservation program, I made a little plan for myself. Mostly, what I would have to do. This is, making sure, that the “ecosystem engineers”-animals can roam free and do whatever it is that they do. I think this would be the easiest way, to help for a lot of things. Basically you get these workers for free. So you only have to do half the job. (At least in my ideal world it would work like that.)

So my road map would be:
1. Protect these animals
2. Make sure that they reproduce and grow their population
3. Let them do the work

Yeah, this is my plan. Feel free to support me! mhm.

Seeing Myself in a Video

On a separate but unrelated note: I also saw a video called, “Casually Explained: The Political Compass“. And as silly as it may sound, I’ve seen myself in this video extremely often in the lib-left category. Only because of what I’ve written about in my diary about the purpose of life. Which I thought was kinda interesting to see.
Maybe, it’s because, in an ideal world, we could all just be “happy and live together in harmony” but sadly it’s not an ideal world. So it doesn’t work like that…

Otherwise, I listened a lot to the song “Mon Bebe” by KiDi. (Just as a quick mention.)

Time for Bed

That’s all for today. I’m gonna take a shower now, and then I’ll see you tomorrow! Bye-Bye!

Dear Diary! From now on, I won’t usually make my daily-doings spell out as precise as I used to. Rather, bullet-point wise. But if I don’t have anything other to tell, I’ll keep it in a more fancy way.

My Day

Nearly overslept -> brush teeth & leave without breakfast

TA business at university, I was asked one question, which I couldn’t answer good, so they asked another TA the same thing… (feels bad man)

Going home -> cook lunch

Afternoon: spend most time correcting the hand in’s from students, and spend some time on YouTube

Finish correcting just in time for dinner – nice!

After dinner, go to the nearest grocery store with my brother -> he drives and parks using like 3 parking spaces – funny haha (it was like 15 min before the store closes -> like 2 people there)

waste some time on YouTube -> shower -> now I’m writing you

Update from yesterday

I said, that I have to text Emiliana back. Once I got to bed, I fell asleep way too fast, so I didn’t answer her (haha). So this morning I just wrote back a ghost-me-response “This is literally me every morning mhm” and then a gif of a chicken catching a worm. And so on.

Long story short. I’m in a similar position as yesterday evening. Except, it’s a different message now haha…

Feelings & Thoughts

Thinking about Ex

Today, I was thinking more about my ex than usual. Well; more is not exactly true. It was more like: Not as often, but the memories were more painful. You get me?

But overall, in the last few days, I feel as if I spent less time thinking about her. Which is a good sign. (I have the suspicion, it’s because I was in contact with my (kinda) crush. Because now, I’m like moving towards something instead of just away from something. But who knows…)

Purpose of Life

Today, by sheer coincidence, I saw a video, in which a “modern”-person asked a person from a hunter-gatherer tribe: “What’s the purpose of life?” This hunter then replied with: “Meat! Meat and Honey!”

And I gotta say, it’s rather obvious when you think about it. (It’s like “food important”.)

Now, why do I tell you this? Lately, I’ve been thinking, to figure the “purpose of life” out, you’d have to live like the people from back in the day. Because they didn’t ask themself this. (So they knew the answer.)

But now, I’m not so sure anymore. So, do I still want to do my 2 weeks without electricity? Probably yes. I still think it’s gonna be a good experience. But we’ll see. It most probably won’t answer any questions like this…

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That’s all for today. I’ll see you again tomorrow! Bye-Bye!