Blog

My Day

Dear Diary! Yesterday, after going to sleep, I had a really bad coughing attack. I laid in bed for like 1.5 hours trying to sleep. Twice I nearly fell asleep, but then the coughing returned and then all the progress (of trying to fall asleep) vanished.

So, today, when I got up, I was really tired. And to make matters worse: My throat hurt more than yesterday! Makes sense, since I coughed a lot, but still – whyyy?

Anyway, I had some bread with olive-oil and salt for breakfast, got ready and left for university. Today was my first exercise-hour this semester. As expected, nothing really important happened. The other assistant is new to me, so we talked a little bit. In advance, I told myself, that I want to try to lead the conversation a bit. Just for some social-skills improvement. And I gotta say – I think I did quite well.

Weird thoughts / My Type(?)

Now this may be really mean / weird, but while she was sitting down, her upper body looked quite good. So I thought (like the man I am) I’d tap that. ?????? Weird ass thoughts – but it was already too late, once I realized that. (haha – in shame). But then, once she got up to answer a students question, I saw her butt and then I figured, that’s not really a nice shape. So in hindsight, I wouldn’t “tap that”.
This got me to the realization, that for me, a well shaped butt is quite important. It does not have to be big – but nicely shaped is important. Otherwise, it looks not very active / like the person does any sports.

SBB-App Shenanigans

Anyway, after this exercise-hour, I didn’t have any more lectures, so I went home again. Now, today I tried to “cheese” the SBB-app. That means, there is this feature, where you can swipe when you enter a train, and then swipe again once you leave. And today I tried, if I just don’t swipe, once I’m at the university, maybe it doesn’t really count the journey, since I would have moved from home -> home.
Sadly, this did not really work. Especially, since I have a 2h window where the ticket is valid. So I couldn’t even really test that. But I will try again next Tuesday (probably). I’ll tell you then.

So once I was home again from that all, I tried some measure-theory exercises, and watched a lot of YouTube. I still have quite a lot of time, this week, since I don’t have anything to grade, so I can relax a bit more. Good good.

This afternoon another annoying thing happened. My second monitor broke. For no reason at all. I tried everything (restarted PC, unplugged cables = everything) but that didn’t work. The problem is, that it just shows a black screen EXCEPT, if you restart the monitor, it shows the correct image for about 1sec. But then it turns black. I have no clue why this is… So maybe I’ll soon buy another monitor.

Drawing

I thought about doing a challenge, where I paint 10 min every day. The first 5 minutes, I try to “copy” something; and for the second 5 minutes, I take a look at first, and then draw for 5 minutes, without looking again.
I would do this, because like that, I have “both stages” so to speak; I want to be able to draw rather swiftly; and I could correct myself once done drawing (so I could check for errors / to see, where to improve).

So I think, I’ll buy a nice pen and a notebook to practice in soon. right now, I think it would be nice, if I could effortlessly tear the pages out – so maybe I’ll see a notebook with that “feature”.

Time to go to Bed

Otherwise, nothing more important happened. So that’s all for today. I’ll see you again tomorrow. Bye-Bye!

My Day

Dear Diary! Today, I stayed home again because of the sickness. Luckily, it’s almost over. In the morning, I had still some pain while swallowing, but in the afternoon, I realized, that it’s mostly gone. So my throat feels mostly okay now. But the coughing is not really gone… It’s gotten better, but the later in the evening, the more I cough. (But it’s way less than yesterday!)

For lunch, I had some bread with some olive-oil and salt. This is really good. And (in silence) I think, this might helped, to soften up my throat. 😉

Charities – European Bison

Otherwise, I did not do too much today. I solved most of my measure theory exercises, and spent too much time on YouTube. During dinner, mom was telling us, that my dad was starting to give some money to (basically) every charity, that sends them a check. With that she’s fine, but then these charities send (or sell) each other my parents address, so now they get wayyy more charity checks.

Then we were talking a little bit about what charities we support, and then I told them, that I would support a charity, which would restore the wild European bison. At first they didn’t agree, but once I told them, that they were native here, they agreed. So now I hope, that soon a charity would open, which tries to restore the European bison!

Just imagine it. You go for a walk in a forest, and then suddenly a wild herd of bison appears. How cool is that? You might think “dangerous” but no. These are very gentle creatures. So it would be cool!

New Hobby?

More than that did not really happen today. I was thinking, that I have a little much free time, so I could start to do something new. I then thought about drawing. Drawing would be cool. So maybe I’ll pick that up.
One reason for that is, that if I do my week of no electricity, I could document it with drawings. I think that would make a cool book.

That’s about all for today. I’ll see you again tomorrow! Bye-Bye!

My Day

Dear Diary! Today, I stayed at home sick. Nonetheless I did more than yesterday. Well, “more” in the sense of studying. I read some lectures, and tomorrow I’m gonna do some exercises. Other than that I did not really do anything. Well, watching a lot of YouTube – but it’s becoming kinda boring ngl. I think of doing a no-all again. That would mean no YouTube or any other social media thingies for that matter.

No-Electricity-week(s)

Speaking of that, I’m often thinking about a two-week-session of no electricity this summer. So cooking only with fire, no artificial lights in the evening, and so on. Basically only using mechanical energy (and chemical) but no electrical.

I think, that could help to answer some questions like the purpose of life. Since currently I’m (like a real mathematician) asking myself if it even exists. I tend to “not really”, so it would become to survive (and reproduce), and if I make it “harder” for myself, it should become more clear. At least that’s my current thinking…

Grades

Today, I got my second grade back. In the ODE exam I have a 4.0. This means I pass with the worst possible grade. I’m not really happy with that. On the one hand, it’s good, since I don’t have to redo the exam, but on the other hand: it’s really bad. And I feel like, if I retake an exam, I could easily be better than that…

Sickness Update

I’m improving quite good. I’m coughing less than yesterday (especially during the day – worse in the evening). On the other hand, my throat hurts more – especially when swallowing. I think, I’ll stay at home tomorrow as well.

Being over someone pt. 7(?)

Before when taking a shower, I was asking myself (again), what it means to be over someone. More specifically: How often can you think of someone, with being over them?

Now, it’s quite obvious, that I will never forget her (my ex), but I strongly believe, that with more time passing, I will think of her less and less. I expect it to be a sort of a exponential decay – so always decreasing, but never getting to zero.

With that in mind: How often is little enough, to start watching for someone else? I don’t really know the answer to that. Maybe, once I have like a whole week without thinking of her. But we’ll see.

Another (contrary) point to that would be: it’s quite hard, to get away from something, without another aim. In this context, this would mean: It’s hard to stop thinking of her, without another “crush” or potential partner in sight (to aim for).
But to that, I’d also say, it’s not entirely fair to the new partner, since you aren’t really done with the last partner, so it just feels somewhat incomplete(?).

In conclusion: I don’t know. Basically like ever before. I expect, in the end it will be just some thinking like “I’ve been lonely/single for long enough” and “I’m mostly over her”.

Tips for Next Relationship

A little while ago, I was kinda “researching” if there are any “predictors” for if a relationship will hold for a long time. And in one video I watched, the creator told us: If you have three questions to figure out, if you are in a happy relationship, you don’t ask questions about the relationship, but if the persons themselves are happy.

I guess that means, the “matching” of you and your partner is not that important. It’s more important, that you are happy yourself, then it’ll work out. So for the next relationship, I thought, in order to “measure”/ figure out how “good” the relationship is, I first need to figure out, how happy I am. Then ask myself for how “good” the relation ship is. So I can un-bias (in a way) whatever the score is. (With an arbitrary bias shift – mhm)
This is my one “tip” to myself for my next relationship. Asking myself if I’m happy, and if not, keeping that in mind when thinking about the relationship.

Sleepy Sleep

That is all for today. Since it’s already late in the night, I’ll go to bed shortly. I’ll see you again tomorrow. Until then – take care and Bye-Bye!

My Day

In the morning, I finished my semester planing, and added the lectures to my calendar app. I hope, that with that, I go to uni somewhat often.

After lunch, I had a physio appointment. We talked a bit, and came to the conclusion, that I don’t need any more appointments. We also had the agreement, that if my knees would get worse, I could go again, since my doctors “note” is still viable for about 2 months.
I once talked with a other physio, and she told me, if they want to gossip about patients, they have to take pictures of them, so all know, who is talked about. And then today I asked my physiologist, if they have a similar rule. She found it very funny, but then denied all such rules. (Which of course, she’d also do, if they had a rule like this…)

After that, I took the train heading to uni. But since my lecture had already started, and I saw that I have a script of the lecture, I changed my mind. I was already in the train (going in the wrong direction) so I exited and took the train back. Funnily enough, I met the wife of a player of my team with their toddler. So I talked a little bit with them.

Back at home, I didn’t really feel like doing anything, so I chilled for some more, had dinner, and then took a shower. Also, since I didn’t really do any studying today, I’m basically already behind on the first day. yey. super cool.

Also, I quickly need to mention, that I have a sore throat, and am coughing a lot. (One part is, that I want to know, when it started (saturday-ish) and the other part is as an excuse, as to why I didn’t do a lot today.)

Shower Thoughts pt. 2

In the shower I had some weird-ish thoughts. Mostly I was thinking about ex gf. But not in a normal way, but mostly sorta jealous (?) because another player hanged with her yesterday (after our game), and idek why this made me sort of jealous.

One other thing was: I was thinking about ex, like miss her, and think about the sex and so on. Which is weird, since I don’t often get the missing her feeling. But I don’t think this means anything.

Possible reason: I feel like getting sick -> bad thoughts (like more depressing) and with that all the thinking about the ex and so on…
But who knows(?).

That’s all for today. I’ll talk to you again tomorrow! Bye-Bye!

---

P.S. I just remembered, that I forgot something last friday (February 14). Mainly, in the sauna, I talked sometimes with Daniel, but I also spent a suspiciously big amount of time thinking about my ex. But then, it was mostly, because the last time bofore that I was in the sauna, was with her, away in a spa-weekend. So that was quite a lot on my mind.
Just wantef to write that down real quick.

So now: Sleep well! Ciao

Today, is only short bullet points. Don’t really feel like writing a lot. Am tired, hungry, and it’s already way too late.

My Day

chilling in tha morning

volleyball in afternoon – easy 3:0 W

After dinner, I was chilling for some more, and then I “planed” my next semester. I still am not 100% sure what I’ll take, but mostly I’m done. That is:
– Deep learning (as the only comp-sci lecture)
– measure theory
– probability theory
– complex analysis
– ?one more, which I don’t know yet?

Also in the evening, I watched the twitch-stream of Spammiej (Trackmania) who is a “retired” pro player, but then qualified for the top 8 of the biggest ever tournament in Trackmania. The “Red Bull Faster”-tournament. It was like a super close fight, and I got really invested. It was really fun when he really did it! That was super uplifting.
(Sadly) This was the only time today, where I was really happy… Like, winning in volleyball was nice too, but it didn’t really feel like that. This was just more(?).

Feelings

Saw my ex at volleyball. Didn’t talk to her, had sometimes a somewhat awkward eye-contact. But it didn’t feel as weird to me, as it used to. (Like, no feeling in my stomach, just sort of weird.)
I guess, that counts as progress.

Feeling Empty – Happy & Sad the Same?

While walking back from the gym (after volleyball) I felt like empty inside. Strangely enough, it felt somewhat like when I’m (truly) happy, but except the happy part. Like just a state of feeling. It just felt like more real. Can’t really describe it in words.
(This sorta reminded me of the tao – which in this context would be the intense feeling instead of the “feel” itself. At least, that’s what I thought…)

Music Taste Changes

On a separate unrelated note: I started to listen to “love songs” again lately. (For example: emiliana – CKay; I see th elights – tangled; calm down – Rema; …) Make of that what you will, but I thought, I’d mention iz.

Shower Thoughts

While showering I miss cuddling (somewhat) like the Laying in bed, the warmth of the other person, and the soft touches and so on… Maybe because I’m getting a fever, and am somewhat cold. Or maybe I’m just feeling (a bit) lonely.

Also in the shower, I started to think about quitting volleyball. It’s like, the fire is not really burning no more. I don’t know tho. Maybe I’m just getting sick or it’s because I’m hungry(?).

My Day

Dear Diary! Today was my “chill”-day. I did not do anything. I spent the whole day today relaxing and watching some stuff on my PC. Daniel and another friend asked me, if I wanted to go watch a volleyball game with them, but I declined. Other than that, not really a lot happened.

My brother cooked dinner, so then we had Fajitas. It was really good.
(I forgot if I already mentioned this, but he quit the army, so he can stay at home for now. Well, technically he’s still sick with a doctors note, but yeah.)

I also had the realization, that I watched quite a lot of “random”-interesting videos on YouTube.
One other niche thing I watched a lot was about nature preservation. I don’t know why this fascinates me so much. I also found out, that I find it really sad, how nature is treated. Like for example, that a lot of animals were hunted and are now close to extinction. (For example, bisons – both in north America and Europe; hammer sharks; and so on)

That’s basically all for today. I’ll see you again tomorrow. Bye-Bye!

---

P.S. I forgot to mention. I also thought a bit about a thing, a friend told me. That is: He had a girlfriend like 4 years ago, broke up with her, and now has a new girlfriend (for about 2 years now). We were talking about, if I’m looking out for a new girlfriend, and then it came up, that he’s not really over this old relationship. Now for me that was a shocker. Isn’t it “normal” (or at least better looked at) that you first get over your last partner and then search a new partner?

At least in my head it is like this. If you know that, write a comment!

Anyway, he told me, that some day I’d wake up, and then I feel like getting a girlfriend. And I do trust him. Just sayin!

Now that’s all. Cya!

My Day

Dear Diary! Today, was my holiday for this semester. It already starts on Monday. yay… So for today: I slept until like 10am. I then woke up, and also got up, since I didn’t really feel like sleeping no more.

I then had a small breakfast, and spent some time on YouTube until lunch. After lunch, I met Daniel, and we went to a sauna together. We went to a local one. Funnily enough, we said, that we’d go multiple times this fall/winter, but this was the first time.

We stayed there from like 2pm to 5pm. Then we went to some restaurant which was recommended to us by a common friend. We felt a little crazy so we ordered a “Pizza Americana” which is a pizza with sausage and fries. Now, the pizza was good, but we can’t really compare it to other pizza-places. So I guess we’ll go there again somewhat soon.

Since Daniel is the volleyball coach from the U18 team, and they had practice this evening, I too went along with him there. (Since I’m Daniels coach.) So I helped to train them.

After this practice, we walked to the train station. During that, a car honked at us, and waved. We didn’t recognize who it was, but we think it was someone from our mixed team. I’ll tell you, once I figure it out.

Then we took the train home. At home I spent some more time on YouTube, and now I’m writing (to) you.

That’s my whole day. Just some chilling – yeah! I’ll talk to you again tomorrow! Until then – Bye-Bye!

My Day

Dear Diary! Today was my last exam-day. With my “bad”-luck, the exam was at 8am. So that means, I had to go on the train at like 7:15 and therefore get up at like 6:30 (since I don’t want to be tired for the exam, and need some wake-up time).

So I got up, went to my uni, and wrote my exam. I was even so early, that the store, where I usually buy my breakfast, hadn’t opened yet. So I just had a strawberry for breakfast (and a glass of chocolate-milk).

The exam didn’t really go according to plan. To be honest: I expect like a 3 which would be a fail. But to play devils-advocate (my-advocate) the exam was longer than usual (6 instead of 4-5 questions) and the questions were harder than usual. (“harder than usual is easy to sad, but Yesterday evening I solved the exam of last year, and I didn’t really have any problem solving it. But today was hard hard. Like some “hard” integrals…)

Then, after the exam I quickly talked with my friends, and we found out, that in the exercise, where we had to find the eignvalues of a 3×3 matrix, all of us had different results.
Other than that, I don’t really know, if I answered the exam-questions correctly, but yeah. We’ll see, once I get my grade. (I don’t expect good.)

I then went home. At home, I relaxed. (Basically most of the day.) In the afternoon I went to the gym with Jan. We mostly did different exercise, but in the end, we did sitting bicep curls together. Together, it’s always fun. Currently I’m stronger than him. (His max is like 4.5 bad my max is 10 – however unimportant that may be.)

After the gym, I went home, and spent some time on Twitch, since I wanted to re-watch a VOD of Spammiej. During my rewatch, I (nearly) fell asleep for like one hour, since I was really tired, and this wasn’t exactly the most interesting thing to watch.

Then, when I “got up” from a nap, while watching Twitch, I took a look at my phone, and it was like 5pm, and my friends wrote, that we’ll meet at 6pm. So I took a shower, and got ready to leave.

My friends and I went to the local Pub, and had a few drinks. (The “excuse” was, that we drink, since my exams are over.) While there, we talked about a few things. Mainly:
– We secured a date for Pete
– Visas (specifically England, since Brexit)
– A lot about the female we “secured” for Pete (and how he should “behave” on his date)
– I told them, that I have my diary online, but didn’t tell them the URL.
and so on. So just like a normal evening in the local Pub.

I got home at like midnight. Then I ate some bread with olive-oil and salt. (This is really good. Put some olive-oil on a plate, some salt in it and then dip the bread in it. Tastes really good.) Once I was done with that, I brushed my teeth, and now I’m writing (to) you!

So that’s all for today. I’ll talk to you again tomorrow! Bye-Bye!

My Day

Dear Diary! Today was another exam-day. This means, I got up, freshened myself up, and went to uni. I had my exam.

I believe, it went pretty good. One funny little tangent for that: The exam started at 10:30am and we had 1.5h time. I was writing the whole time, and then I once take a look at the clock, and I see, 11:25ish. I think:” Oh shit. Only 5 minutes left.” At this time, I only had one part of an exercise left. So I quickly wrote that down, and then I made my sheets of paper ready, to hand in. Then I take a look at the front, and I see written on the black-board: “End: 12:01”.
So I was 30 min too early done. Apparently, I can’t calculate 10:30 + 1.5h in my head. What a time to be a math student!

Lots of people weren’t really happy with the exam. And I gotta say, I kinda agree with them. The professor told us, there would be a proof from the lectures, one exercise similar to the ones we solved, and one new exercise. But none of these were in the exam. Also, they gave us a sheet, with “recommended topics”. Funnily enough, the exam had things in it, with topics not on that sheet. So that’s some not-so-funny shenanigans of him…

After the exam, we had lunch. I had some Polenta with meatballs and a mustard sauce. It was really good. Then, we had the usual geoguessr game. We played for 3 rounds, and I think I’m improving slowly. Out of the three rounds, I was last only twice. The “outlier”-run I was 3rd (out of like 10). I guess, it was my lucky day!

In the afternoon, I spent some time with my new friends there, and we studied for the ODE exam tomorrow. Today I went home earlier (that is at like 4:30pm) because I was too tired, and we didn’t really study that efficient. Who could have expected that?!

At home, I spent some time to relax until dinner. Once, I took a quick look outside my window, and then I saw the full moon staring at me. Right through a hole in the clouds. It was fancy looking. I tried to take a picture of it, but of course, with my phone, this didn’t really turn out good.

For dinner we had some rice with a tomato-like sauce. After dinner, I watched some more YouTube, and then I went back to studying. I solved one equation of each type, so I’m ready for tomorrow.

In between my studying, my brother came to my room to ask, if he should quit the army and do some “civi-service” instead. Since he could stay home the whole week (because of sick – doctors note) they asked him, if he wants to continue. So now, he will continue for (I think) at least three weeks. But he doesn’t really cares anymore, if they want to keep him or not, so he can just start a lot of tomfoolery.
He wasn’t really sure with any decision, since both options suck. In the military, he’s no longer with the same platoon, and the “civil-service” takes 1.5 times the amount of time. So it’s basically the choice between Pest and Cholera.

Anyway. After some studying, I also did one old exam, then I showered, and now I’m writing (to) you. That’s all for today. I’ll talk to you again tomorrow! Bye-Bye!

My Day

Dear Diary! Today I had my first exam. It was about Algebra. I think, it went pretty good (don’t want to jinx it tho). I expect like a 5. Funnily enough, I had bloating during the exam, so I ended up, handing it in earlier to go to the toilet.

Anyway. After that, I had lunch, and then spent the rest of the day in university studying. Well “studying”… I was there with a few mates, and we didn’t study as much, but talked a lot. So maybe a 50/50 split.
I quickly have to say, today was the first day, after which I’d say, that my “mates” from uni are friends of mine. So that’s some progress. Super cool!

Then I went home for dinner. Shortly after dinner, I got really tired and got ready for a nap. But as always, once I was in my bed, I wasn’t really tired no more – so I did not take a nap. After that, I spent some time on YouTube, and studied some more. Once I was done with that, I took a shower, and now I’m writing (to) you.

Getting sick?

I feel like, I’m getting sick, so I make a prediction now. I believe, that I’ll have a fever on Thursday. Right in time for the last exam.

Well – break a leg! I surely won’t get sick. mhm.

Anyway, that’s all for today. I’ll talk to you again tomorrow! Bye-Bye!