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Hello! Today was a Sunday -> no internet-blocker. So most of the day, I just spent watching YouTube.

Though, in the afternoon, my brother Jordan, my sister and I went to pick up a wardrobe – for my sister, since she’s moving in about a month. But this took only a little longer than one hour.

Yesterday, my applied optimization partner was asked by some other person, if she could join our group as well. So now we have a (I’m assuming) Korean exchange student in our group.

In the evening, I had to prepare a little bit for tomorrow. The AI & ML seminar. That means, I just had to read a paper. Though, this really takes time. I, pretty much always, have to read each sentence multiple times, because they are so compact (and in kinda hard English, with acronyms I hardly understand). So today it took me like one hour to read a ~8 pages long paper. Nice

That’s already about all for today. I’ll see you again tomorrow. Take care & Bye-Bye!

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From my YouTube journey today: Did I watch something interesting? Kinda. I watched one video from PewDiePie, in which he was telling us (audience) a little about Diogenese, and his bowl.
Diogenese was a Greek philosopher (epic minimalist). Legend has it, that he only had one possession. This one possession was a bowl. Until, one day, he saw a boy drink from a river using his hands, when Diogenese realized, what a fool he is – he doesn’t even need the bowl.
And in this video, PewDiePie was talking about his bowls, and what all he got rid of, and shit. Point being: be an epic minimalist – you are more joyous (I guess).

(Not that big of a deal for me, since I’ve kinda always been a minimalist lul.)

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Just before, I was reading some old text-messages between me and my ex. Just for curiosity’s sake. And I gotta say, it was actually kinda funny. Like we had a funny thing going on.
But kinda surprisingly, this didn’t “impact” me that much (for a lack of a better term). Usually, I spiral pretty fast, but then I didn’t. Don’t know why though.

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You might remember: Yesterday, I sent a Instagram friend-request to Caroline. Today I went back to check if she’d accepted it. She didn’t lol. I guess, she’s not an Instagram user (massive cope).

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Today, I found out, that you can text on the Spotify-app. So I texted for like 10 quick messages with Daniel.
Right now, he’s in Stuttgart, for some music business. He was invited with some other artist, to produce some songs there – for a week. All commodities payed for. Actually crazy.

Hello there! Today was a (story wise) not that interesting day. In the morning, I mostly did some university stuff, and relaxed a bit. Then, in the afternoon, my brother and I “really started” our car project. At least we wanted to. That means, we went shopping for some of the car parts, we thought we would need. Unfortunately, the store we were at, didn’t have all the parts we needed (the necessary ones were missing lul) so we ended up ordering about half of the things we need online.
One thing I bought, which was in store, was a nice and cheap jacket. For only 25 bucks, a sort of lumber jack jacket. Actually drippy. lol
That all took basically all afternoon.

Dinner: It’s kind of a family tradition, that once, each summer, we go out to eat, and then celebrate what we all achieved in the past year. (It stems from back when we were in school, then the change from grade k -> k+1 was in the summer, so this “special dinner” is in the summer.)
Today, we went to some pizza place in the neighboring village. It was quite good. Not much more to tell here.

After this whole dinner thing, I went to Yanis’ place. Right now there’s some big fare in the place where he lives. At least, in the same city. So I and some friends of mine went there.
At first, we just drank some beer’s at Yanis place. Then, at about 23:30, we went outside to the fare. Now, this fare was nothing really special lol. We just wanted to take a quick beer there and then get back home and bed.

Then, about 30 minutes in, Josh, Nick & Nicks GF quit the fare, because they had a game the next day. Yanis, Leah and I stayed.
And then, as it often happens, Yanis knew some people. By a huge coincidence, these people were some females from his studies. Then also by another coincidence, they happened to join us. But from here on, it went downhill (lol).

It was all fun and games, a little of dancing and drinking, but I was quite self-conscious -> I felt like I moved like an idiot -> and then my drink got empty (I drank all). Worst case. With a drink, you always can kinda escape the awkwardness through taking a sip from your drink. But no drink: You’re just exposed.
Then, it turned out, that Yanis and I both really needed to pee. So, we decided, on the fly, that we would just quickly ditch them to take a pee, and then go back – also because Leah seemed to vibe with the newly joined group.
Once back from peeing, we decided to go get another beer – as it does happen.

Actually, my autism shined as bright as it can today (haha). They were actually really trying to talk to us (well, they had 2 kinda good attempts, but I chocked it. The women : men quote was just too high. It was like 3-2 : 1. I can’t handle that (joke – but sadly kinda true hahahaha)). Though, both attempts of “talking to us” were based on me being the third wheel, but with a technically easy followup. So in the end, I really did choke it. :(

Then, at about 00.50, I had to leave, in order to get the night-bus home. Since Yanis & Leah’s home was on my way anyway, we all walked back together. Then, Leah told us, that she didn’t really vibe with this group of girls. WHAT THE HELLY?? I don’t get her lol.

Anyway. I took my night-bus home, showered and then went on instagram (for about 2 minutes). Read here:

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I was just on Instagram, for the first time, since I was in Malta, and I sent a friend request to Caroline. Nothing else, really. (In my mind, I built up the idea of, “what if she wrote me on Instagram, but I’m never on it, so I don’t see the message?!” So I Kinda forced / tortured myself to go on Instagram.) So, I guess, I have to go on Instagram again in a few days (or tomorrow haha) to see, if she’s followed me back. Let’s hope for the best.

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Now I’m writing (to) you. That’s about all for today. I’ll see you again tomorrow. Take care & Bye-Bye!

Hello! Today I did some uni stuff. That’s basically all.

I slept until ~10 (since I went to bed late yesterday), then I drove Emily to the train station, as she can’t really drive her bicycle. Back at home, I changed my hinge profile (as intended) and swiped some. Then for the rest of the morning, I did some uni stuff.

In the afternoon, I basically did the same as in the morning. Some studying and a little bit of hinge. Though, the hinge thing gets a little demotivating, because you know, no matches/ likes received. So all in all, I only sent out three likes until now. (Maybe I’ll send out some more later lol).

In the evening, I had my internet unlocked, but there was nothing really interesting on it -> I ended up doing some exercises. (Just applied optimization exercises. They are surprisingly easy for a masters level lecture.)
Then, just before, when I wanted to get offline and to bed, Samuel just wrote me. (The 2nd time, since he broke his jaw 4 times.) We ended up in a discord call, where some of my old volleyball players happened to be in as well. We then talked for like 45 minutes.
Well, Samuel wasn’t really able to talk, but in the end he actually tried. (Next week, they take the things out of his mouth, so he’ll be able to talk normally again.)

And now I’m here. I’m about to shower, and then go to bed. That’s all for today. I’ll see you again tomorrow. Take care & Bye-Bye!

Hello! As I’m tired right now, and it’s kinda late (not really) and I wanna go to bed, imma keep it short today as well.

Morning: Sleep out (until like 9/9:30) -> still tired but get up anyway -> try solving some sudokus (kinda successful) -> do some university stuff

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Funnily enough, I prepared a excel-sheet for some hinge data. I now log what’s on my profile, likes sent out, likes received, matches and the respective date. Like this, in the end I can make a depressing statistic lol.
The goal is, to change at least one thing each day, and see how it impacts things.

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Afternoon: Some more university stuff (academic writing things) ->
pick up the deposit from the trailer we used for our Porsche (This was actually my first drive alone. It wasn’t really special. It was really easy to drive with a limiter for once, instead of only gas-pedal speed control. Also, when driving back home, I had to go onto the highway at a road work thing, and then I went the wrong way. So I drove like 7km in the wrong direction. Otherwise all went well. All in all, this took like 2 hours.)
-> going to pharmacy for medication (last time was a month ago – I should take it every other week) -> clean my room and change bed-sheets -> some hinge abuse (still no matches) -> some more uni stuff -> 30 min phone call with Sara.

Evening: After the call -> make dinner (family was at IKEA – I didn’t go though), (I made myself burgers) -> watch some YouTube (sadly Dan Da Dan is over :( so no Dan Da Dan no more) -> some more academic writing things ->
by coincidence write with a friend from a volleyball team I used to play at (the Egyptian(?) setter.) He’s just started his medicine studies at the same university where I’m at. Funny times.

Now, I’m about to go take a shower -> brush teeth -> bed.

That’s all for today. I’ll see you again tomorrow. Take care & Bye-Bye!

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It’s funny, if I use hinge, I always “feel” like I’m ready for a new girlfriend. But then, in the evening, I watched like 2 volleyball videos, and during the 2nd, I got some flashbacks of my ex, and then I had this cold chilly feeling. You know what I mean. So now what the fuck does that mean?
Not really important. I think, I’ll still try to get a new girlfriend.

I still don’t know if Caroline’s single or not, but we’ll see. In like 17 days is (October 12) the next time I’ll see her. But not to get ahead of me. I would still have to talk to her lol.

Also (as mean as it may sound) hinge really humbles one (me). I mean, I get like 0 matches, so slowly my standards are coming down. Which is probably one of the downsides, but also one of the upsides. (I am talking about looks-standards – which objectively speaking, aren’t that important in the long run. So this might be a good thing. Who really knows…) With that, I’m more open to date Caroline (even if she’s not a 10/10 – still pretty though).

Hello! I don’t really have much to tell you about today.

Morning: Solving some Sudokus -> solve the Combinatorics & Probability exercises.

Afternoon: Chill for a bit -> Hinge for a bit (still no matches, but I sent out all the likes I had.) -> Start to solve the applied optimization exercises (which ended up taking up until now, since I didn’t find some minor mistake. And now it’s 1:20 in the morning). ->
Had the last driving lesson with my dad (he showed me how to drive an automatic, and explained some features of the car to me, like cruise-control &/ tempo-limiters) (Now, my driving time with my dad is over. End of an era. Kinda sad, but also good you know)
-> Helped my mom cook -> Volleyball practice (my shoulder actually worked!) ->

I drove home with my friends car. Now, I did one really stupid mistake, which nearly (exaggerated), but I was an idiot. I just shut off my brain, and drove into a round-about like an idiot. Really annoying. Especially given, that I (thinking about driving) am kinda scared (not really, more like respecting and shit) of driving. And then I go ahead and do this stupid thing… What an idiot.
So from now on: Focus on driving!

-> Back at home, I had like 20 minutes of YouTube left -> finished the last part of applied optimization exercise. (I did solve it quite good – I believe.) Also, it’s given to us as a group-project, but I solved it alone, because I’m not in a group as of yet.

-> brush teeth & sleep.

That’s all for today. I’ll see you again tomorrow. Take care & Bye-Bye!

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I’ve been theorizing about hinge.

Your like list is sorted through “last in, first out”. (If I liked an hour before, and you like now, the person sees your like first, and mine no longer, until she either matches you or “X”s you.) (So basically it’s a stack.)
Now why is that? Wouldn’t it be more sensible, to have it “first in first out”? (So a queue.)
But I guess not. What are hinges advantages of that? People who send out a lot of likes often are more likely to get a match in a short period of time. Which makes you want to send out a lot of likes.
Also, if you suddenly stop, and have some of your likes still “not reacted” to, you’ll get some matches, even if you haven’t been active in quite some time -> it draws you back in after not using it.
(If it were a queue: Not liking -> no Matches -> no reason to return.)

Can hinge “boost” your profile by showing either one or multiple “bad”-profiles before yours? (Hinge has most probably scores on how good a profile is. (Kinda like the algorithm that chooses if you are a “standout” or not.) So do they strategically “boost” your profile, if you pay for example for hinge+?)

Hello! Today was another day of uni. Not that much to tell though. I went there kinda late, but only like 15 minutes. Something good turned out of it. I (kinda) made new friends. Two dudes who have the same lecture as I do, I happened to sit just behind them, and they asked each other some question, but neither knew the answer, but then I tried to help. (We still aren’t sure, if we’ve got it right haha.) (I did already know one of them because of some other courses, so it wasn’t too out of the blue. But “know” – talked to like 3-4 times.)

Then, for the rest of the morning, I wrote down the lectures I missed last week (because of doctors visit), and then solved some exercises -> lunch -> some more exercises -> long break with Lorenzo (I told him the car story from my brother and me) -> afternoon lecture.

In the afternoon lecture, my 2 befriended fellas from the morning, happened to be late, but he chose a place specifically next to me, so I guess I’ll sit with them for the rest of the semester lol. Definitely better than to sit alone lul!
After this lecture, I went back home (I skipped the exercises-hour as usual).

On the way home I solved some more exercises. Then, funnily enough, ~5 minutes before I arrived at home, Emily saw me in the train. She sat like 4 meters away from me, but we didn’t notice each other until then. Jokes. So then she sat to me, and we talked a bit.

Back at home, I did some more math -> dinner ->

I had my first non-learner drive today. With my brother. We just wanted to go buy some coffee for our mother (they didn’t have any) and then we went to the nearest ATM and I returned loads of cash I had laying around. (3.5k – I still haven’t picked up the 500 deposit I had from the trailer lol)

-> some YouTube ->
some hinge (sad story: I’m already through with all the profiles in a certain range (35km) of where I live -> not really any matches though…) (I maxed out my likes today, and I have my profile now on public, so I’m hoping to get some likes :) )
-> some more YouTube -> some math again -> and now I’m writing (to) you.
Now I’m about to shower -> bed.

That’s all for today. I’ll see you again tomorrow. Take care & Bye-Bye!

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As I helped Emily improve her hinge yesterday, she’s already got like a few likes. And then she’s always shown them to me. Actually kinda funny. But she isn’t really texting with anyone. (She also claims, that she doesn’t want to get into a relationship – but we’ll see about that.)

Hello! I slept really bad this night. I woke up like 2-3 times, and in the morning, I had really bad stomach-pain. (Actually, I was kinda constipated, for like the first time in idk… 10 years. I wasn’t really constipated though, just nearly lol.)

I then got up at about 9, 9:30 and I was already kinda stressed out. I had my drivers license exam today. So in the morning I didn’t really know what to do, so I attempted to solve a sudoku (which I completed), and then had 2 sandwiches for lunch.

Then, at 12 I was picked up by my driving instructor and then we headed to the exam-place. And let me tell you: I was nervous.

We arrived there about 10 minutes early, spent some time talking, and then the examiner arrived. We said hello, and then went to the car, in order for me to take the drive. And I was still nervous.

In the first like 5 minutes, we drove through some tunnel, which was going downwards, and it was a 50 zone. Just before that, I shifted into 4th gear, assuming it would break enough. It didn’t… I reached like 60-65 kmh and then the examiner told me:” It’s only a 50 here”, and I knew: SHIT. That’s a fail. Another half an hour with him in the car, just for nothing. So the nervousness also kinda left me, and I just drove around a bit, and we talked to each other. I was already kinda depressed, but you know how it is.

I also had to parallel park, do an emergency stop and shit. I also had a few more minor marks, but these aren’t that important, given the oral intervention from before.

Back at the test-center, he said:” Congratulations! You passed.” What the helly! Makes no sense to me. But yeah, that’s how I passed my driving exam.

(A few more minors were:
1. We were waiting at a red light, I wanted to go to neutral to shut off the engine, but forgot to shift into neutral. So I released the clutch, the car jumped a bit, and then the engine died. Wasn’t a problem though, since we were still just waiting.
2. I forgot to indicate like 2 times (no big turns, just some minor movements
3. I had to drive according to the signs, and took a wrong turn, but then I savely(!) and rather quickly shifted lanes back (probably not a minor though)
4. Driving a little slow, because of too much focus on talking
But I also did some good things, like
1. Waited for pedestrians
2. A ~10 year old child was on a bicycle driving like a mad man (on the pavement), so I slowed down to 30kph when passing.
3. Checking mirrors and generally driving save (I guess).
)

So I was quite glad that I passed – all though it was kinda unexpected. I obviously told the people at home (mom & dad are on a 2 day trip -> not at home). My foster sister Emily was also at home. The thing is, she already failed the exam twice, and after the third fail, you have to go to do a psychological assessment (which costs like 900-1600 bucks) and she’s generally scared of exams, and her last examiner was just terrible (like intervening unnecessarily “screaming” at her, and then not even giving reasons why she’s failed).
And then me: Getting a really relaxed examiner, and passing (in my eyes) not really driving good.
So this is all currently a bit much for her, and then she broke down and started crying. (Not really because of me, but because of the situation she’s in.) Still hurts me though.

Then, some time later in the afternoon, she asked me what we want for dinner. We then decided on Pizza, and that we were gonna cook together. And now, that I’ve passed my driving exam, I am officially back in the dating game, so I told Emily that, and then I showed her my hinge profile. And turns out, she was “forced” by her friends to create one as well. So then she showed me hers. (It was kinda shit, but we (I) improved it big time! Now it’s acceptable.)
Then we spent like 1.5 hours swiping on men’s profiles for her. And we had a blast haha.

After that, we went to make the pizza -> ate -> & I spent some time on my PC. (I watched some YouTube, but I also had to finish the intro-course to matlab for my numerics lecture).
And now I’m writing (to) you. That’s about all for today. I’ll see you again tomorrow. Take care & Bye-Bye!

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I did use some hinge later, before going to bed and I saw someone I’ve already seen once. Now, back then, she had written:” I can twitch with my eyes” and I remember, that I wanted to like her (because I can do that too, and she’s pretty) but then I didn’t. Then, I saw her profile again, but this time without this “I can twitch with my eyes”, since she replaced it with something else.
So I then (awkwardly) explained my situation to her, and gave her a super-like (since she was in the standouts again). It was really annoying, since there’s a character limit on hinge, for opening messages. So my message had some scuffed language, and the story-telling was all off. But we’ll see if it works.

Hello! Today was the first car-day for my brother and me. Though, we didn’t work on the car lol. In the morning we rearranged all the things in the garage, so we now have enough space for our car in there, and kinda to work in there too.
This whole “clean up”-thing took like until early afternoon. Sadly, I forgot to make a before-picture, but here’s the after-picture:

Then, for a few hours in the afternoon, I spent some time on my PC, just binging some YouTube, but nothing really important.

At 17:15-ish, I went on my hopefully last learner-drive. But let me tell you: it was bad. I most definitely would not have passed like that. At least, it’s unlikely.
Some would say, “bad warmup -> good game” but yeah. We’ll see tomorrow.

Back at home (like 1.5 hours later) we had Fajitas for dinner, and then I spent some more time on YouTube. I didn’t really watch anything interesting though.

And right now, I’m here, and I’m about to go to take a shower, and then go to bed. I hope I can sleep well, and I’ll see you tomorrow with good news! That’s about all for today. Take care & Bye-Bye!

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After that, I quickly went on hinge, saw someone Daniel and I knew (who I’ve already described being on hinge) and wrote Daniel that she changed parts of her profile. Then, Daniel and I had a call for about 1 hour 45 minutes, and spent this time looking at women’s profiles. haha.
It was quite amusing. We even sent out a few good likes – don’t know though if he’s gotten any matches.
After that, I was tired -> fell asleep.

Hello! As I went to bed yesterday kinda late, I am tired today, going to bed sooner & imma keep it short here.

Morning: Wake up -> breakfast -> chill a bit (doing some car related searches and shit) -> lunch

Afternoon: Talked a bit with brother about car things, tested a few (like the fuses, some relays and so on) -> went on a drive with my dad (we also wanted to make a copy the Porsche key, but the key-maker is already in pension lol) (The drive went pretty well – I just gotta remember to keep it calm and composed!) -> Talk some more with my brother & I was bored and tired, so I mostly just waited for time to pass, until my internet-blocker disables at 19:30. (During this time, I figured out, that this one farmer-shop sells (worker-)clothes, which are actually pretty cheap and don’t look too bad. So I think imma buy a jacket there for late autumn and spring.)
Also, in the morning & early afternoon, I tried to solve one particular hard sudoku. I tried for like 2.5 hours, but I’m still stuck on the same place I was at about 1 hour… I then surrendered :(

Evening: I ate some sandwiches for dinner & then spent time on my PC watching YouTube and the classic animes (Dan Da Dan & Kaiju nr. 8).
After some time, it was 23:00 -> so I took a shower & now I’m writing (to) you.

So currently it’s 23:33 and I’m about to go to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow. Take care & Bye-Bye!

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Yesterday, I told my friends, that my brother and I got our car gifted. Then Yanis said:” Things like that only happen to [my name].”
And I like to think, that I have good karma or some shit, but yes. Things like that do happen to me (occasionally).
But I’ve decided, that I wanna thank this “good deed” with passing those on. Just like multiplying the good things you do onto each other. (I mean, it’s not like I didn’t really do it before, but still. I think, I’m gonna do it more conscious now.)

Hello! Today, in the morning, I had my (hopefully) last driving lesson. Right now, I’m sitting on 8. So that’s really good (if I pass on Monday). But let me tell you: If I had driven the exam today, I would have failed like an idiot. I just gotta remember, to take it calm, and plan ahead. If I do that, I should pass.
This was already most of my morning.

Afternoon: At first, I didn’t really have anything to do, so I tried to solve a really hard sudoku (not successful yet). Then, I had to leave at about 14:30, for a visit at my stomach doctor (gastroenterology).
Let me tell you: the fastest doctor visit I’ve had in a really long time. I arrived ~5 minutes early, and about 1 minute after checking in, I was already called to my doctors office – by my doctor. So I didn’t really have to wait. At first I didn’t even believe it, that it was already my time lol.

With my “main”-doctor, I just had to talk a bit, but most seems fine. He told me, that it’s really important that I send them a stool example, so they can do more tests. Ideally, I’d do that like 2-4 times a year. The last time I did it, was 4 years ago lol.
After this, I also had to give them some blood, and then I was already allowed to leave like 10 minutes after I arrived there. Really fast!

I then went back home, and tried again to solve the sudoku.

The plan for today was, that I meet with Benji, Josh, Yanis and their respective girlfriends (yes, I was the 7th wheel haha).
Since we met kinda early, I invited them (Josh, Yanis, and Yanis GF Leah) to my hose, so I could quickly present them my (and my brothers) new car. And they were kinda impressed – as expected.

After that -> pick up Ellie -> go to next city with car (didn’t want to take train) -> meet Benji and his GF there -> going to eat.

I had a really nice pizza. Not gonna lie: It was the best pizza I had in quite some time.

After that, we all went bowling. Before that, we had to walk from the restaurant to the bowling alley. On this quick walk, I talked to Josh about the hinge-match I had, and that I didn’t really feel it, so I just kinda called it a day, and moved on. Then he told me: That’s dumb. Just try to use these dates as practice dates. Which I thought, was a kinda smart idea. So I think, I won’t do that in the future again. If it’s a match, try to go at least on one date. (I know, technically I’m not on the dating app again, but still. Just remember it for later!)

The bowling was kinda fun. I was quite bad at it (like most of us), and I did feel kinda alone sometimes, because everyone was there in a pair of two – except me…
(I got like 4th or 5th once, and once 2nd – but who’s counting.)

(I was kinda surprised, that Leah didn’t bring up, that she met with my ex, and talked to me about it in real life. I did kinda expect that. Well, I did actually kinda hope that this would’ve happened, because I think I would have had more things to say than just:” It’s fine with me”.
You know, it’s kinda weird, and I’m a little scared, that if they get too close, I might have to see her often – which ATM I don’t really intend to. Not because I dislike her, but… I don’t really know why. It just kinda feels wrong.
Also, I guess I would have said to her, that I quickly go to “spiraling” like:” was it really the right choice to break up? Now that I know, that she would have ‘matched’ with you? And things like that…
)

After the bowling we drove back home. At home, I quickly presented the car to Ellie and then went inside -> shower -> and now I’m writing (to) you.

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As it might happens sometimes, today is my break-up-anniversary. So now I’ve been single for a year. And you know, I didn’t really think about it. Not really unexpectedly, nothing really changed, just because it’s now one year, instead of 364 days.

But I did ask myself: How long of no sex turns you into a virgin again? (haha) I think, I might reached that point lol.

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That’s all for today. I’ll see you again tomorrow. Take care & Bye-Bye!

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Today was another no internet day for me. I left before the blocked sites unblocked, and I returned home only after they were blocked again. Just like yesterday.