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Dear Diary! Today I had a problem with you. Namely, there is such a thing as the WHOIS-verification. This is the verification, with which they (states I guess) can identify me as the owner of the website. In my case, they needed my email address. Of course, I did it now, when I wanted to write my entry, but it is written here, that this is gonna take about 24-48 hours.
Because of this, I write this entry in the notebook on my PC and upload it (hopefully only) one day too late. But I wrote my diary, so I still achieved my new-years resolutions.

My Day

Anyway. About today: Today was a really inefficient day. I got up, lunch, and then watched wayyy too much “The Mentalist”. I also did go to the gym. I had hoped, that this gym session would help me to (in some sense) get away from watching my series, and actually study. In a way it also did.
Once I got back from the gym, I read today’s lectures. After that, I went back to watching “The Mentalist” until dinner. After dinner, I solved some exercises and watched a lot of Jane solving crimes. And now I’m writing (to) you.

But back to the gym for a quick moment. It was quite a good session. Not really if you look at my squad results, but I had a pb with my bicep workout. I used the bar*¹ and 7.5 kgs on each side for 12 repetitions. This was the first time I actually could do 12 repetitions. Usually I do as many as possible with 7.5kgs (which are usually like 8) and then quickly remove 2.5kgs and continue on. (You might also call this “drop-sets” mhm) Besides that, no more pb’s were achieved.

Focus problems

I realized today, that I have some kind of focus problems. It’s not exactly focus problems, but more not-getting-distracted problems. I had an Idea on why that might be. That is, because I didn’t really have a day off in like 2 weeks. So right now I’m flirting with the idea of leaving one day of studying out. Maybe this helps?

In any case, I’ll tell you, if I do so.

That’s it for today. Nothing more to say. So – see you tomorrow! Bye-Bye!

1. concerning the bar: I don’t know how much it weighs, since it’s a curl bar, but probably 10-15 kg’s. But that also doesn’t really matter. The important part is, that I make progress! ↩︎

My Day

Dear Diary! Today was not a usual day. First I woke up at 10:15. Why at such an early hour? Good question! My family and I were visiting my foster brother. He recently moved in with his girlfriend, and now he/they wanted to show us their apartment. For this occasion, they invited us for brunch. It was really sweet. Some good bread, meat, cheese and so on. It was really delicious.

They also gave us a room tour. There was nothing really special. Two things stood out though:

1. They have their bookshelf ordered by color. This looked really good, but too me seems kinda funny [haha].
2. They have an amazing sound setup in their living room.
   (My foster brother is somewhat into music, so he also has a record player (Vinyl-player). We also listened to some music, and I gotta say: It was really impressive. I can’t really describe it over words. You just had to listen, and you’d understand.)

After brunch, we stayed there for a little while, and then went home again.

Once we were back home, I got to studying. Nothing out of the ordinary – as you may know. I read the lectures planned for today, but since I got up early, I was kinda tired. So I watched some YouTube videos until dinner (for about 1.5 hours). Most of them weren’t really interesting, but it’s mostly just to pass time.

Then, dinner time. We had some pasta with tuna-salad. Too bad for me, since I don’t like tuna (or fish for that matter). So I just had some pasta for dinner. Too little meat for my taste; and my biceps too.

After dinner, I got back into my room, solved some exercises, watched two episodes of “The Mentalist” and now I’m writing (to) you. It’s already way too late, so I’m not going to write more. I just need to shower, and then go to sleep.

Tomorrow, I will probably (hopefully) write some more. Maybe, I will continue to write for the book club. Well, I don’t wanna give you false hopes. We’ll see tomorrow. Until then; Bye-Bye!

My Day

Dear Diary! Today I woke up, ate lunch and wanted to study. But I couldn’t really focus, so I watched an episode of “The Mentalist”. Or maybe two? We’ll never know for sure. Then when I finally got to studying, it was really hard. Eventually I got it working, and just as it was about to get fun, I had to go eat dinner.

After dinner, I had to go to a Volleyball match. Sadly we lost the match in 4 sets, but we had fun anyway. At least some of us. One player of the opposing team was screaming over to us, exactly at the moment we had to serve. This Made the atmosphere rather heated. But to be honest: I enjoyed it more, when we had a reason to be pissed at them. Then it’s not just about winning, but then you really want to win. Which in turn makes it more intense.

In the 4th set we misplayed in the beginning and were down 10-5. We were slowly catching up. When they got into their twenties, we were behind with ~17 points (I believe). Then we made it interesting. Few more balls and the score was 24-22 for them.

Match-point 1: It was close, but we made it happen. One more ball to be played.
Match-point 2: 23-24. We get to serve; and the good ol’ classic happened. Service mistake. But hey – you can’t always win. (Sadly we hardly do, but luckily you don’t know that!)

Afterwards, we went to two team members home (who live together), and played some card game (I won – but as we all know, it’s not about winning).

One friend and I took the last train home. I got home at about quarter to 1am and got back to studying. Just before, I watched 2 episodes of “The Mentalist”. Season 3 is now over. I know the next few episodes are not that interesting, so I’ll hope I can not-watch these too soon.

Studying Plan

My studying plan took a little dive. I thought I was on time, but today it became obvious to me, that I have less time than anticipated. Since I’m a TA, and next Tuesday (January 13) they have their exam, and of course, I am one of those, that corrects these. Since we have about 100 students taking the exam, it’ll take a lot of time to correct them. I expect to loose 3-4 days. That’s quite annoying.

So now my plan is

• Finish Algebra on Monday (12th)
• correct exams
• 1 week of applied mathematics (17th-24th)
• 1 week of ODE’s (25th-1st)
• like 10 days to repeat every part once again (2-3 days / subject)

That’s about it. Too bad, I don’t have any free time left over… I at least hope, that either ODE’s or applied maths won’t take too long, since I did those quite thoroughly during the semester. Well – we’ll see soon.

Book Club

As you might have seen, yesterday I started the book club. Today I wasn’t motivated to write more about the first poem. But I had an idea for future texts/ interpretations. Namely, I try to look from a very specific point of view, and maybe get a more specific, easier to understand, interpretation. My point of view should then be, one that most people can understand.
For example, from the perspective of an athlete. And what this would mean specifically for him. Or from someone doing chores. Or whatever. I’m not really sure about what, but I’ll try to change the perspective from entry to entry.

That’s it for today. I don’t really have anything more important to say. So, see you tomorrow! Bye-Bye!

My Day

Dear Diary! Today I was feeling good. I don’t know what it was, or why, but it does not really matter. Today was just a good day!

I woke up, ate lunch, and started studying. I felt motivated, and knew what I had to do. A new chapter just started (about rings – the algebraic structure) and it just went good. Yesterday evening, I pre-read the chapter I had to do today, so it was a bit easier. Maybe it’s just because I’m only at the beginning of the chapter, or most new things are similar to concepts from before, but I was doing good. It only took about 4 hours to read the lectures and solve the exercises. I was already finished before dinner. First time in the last 2 weeks. Now that is what I call exciting!

So, after studying, I still learned some new definitions (with flashcards, from today’s lectures) and watched some episodes of “The Mentalist”. Almost a classic by this point.

Thinking about things they said

Speaking of “The Mentalist”. In one episode, the bad guy confessed his crime to the police, and then said “I thought after confessing, I would feel something like a burden lift off. But I don’t feel anything.”

But why’s that important? Yesterday I told you about how I was feeling/ thinking. And I felt exactly the same as this guy. I thought, if I’d confess my feelings / thoughts, I’d feel better. Yesterday evening I, in fact, did not BUT I have a feeling, that this might be, why I’m feeling so good today.

I just wanted to say that… So the next time, I have something to confess I’ll report to you if it also made me feel better!

My Day – part 2

What am I gonna do now? Tao Te Ching.

I’ll start right now. I was thinking, that I don’t write this in my diary entries, but make a separate category. So that’s what I’ll do now. I’ll be back in about an hour, and tell you of my despair, trying to analyze a poem. For the first time in like 4 years. And the first time actually trying.

—

it’s now like 1 hour later, and I’m still not finished with the first real part. I wrote part 0 (introduction) and started with the first poem. I have to admit, it’s more work than expected.

One problem might be, that I kinda want to say at least one thing to each part of the poem, so I don’t really only use the interesting parts. (Or the parts where I immediately know something sensible to say.)

Anyway. I aborted this philospher’s mission for now. I’m too tired and it’s too late now. I don’t know, when I’ll continue, but probably soon.

But for you, my dear Diary, I’ll be back tomorrow. See you then! Bye-Bye!

My Day

Dear Diary! Today was not an interesting day again. Usual morning, in the afternoon I was studying, then my mom came in my room and said to me: “We are going to the gym now”. So we went to the gym.

In the gym, I didn’t feel so good. I had a new PB on the low-row. Otherwise, I was feeling kinda weak… In the end, I was working out for about one hour. After the gym, I quickly went to a friend of mine, who lives near there. He’s a player of my volleyball team. He just got injured this Monday (two days ago). He told me, that he probably just pulled a muscle, so it’s not too bad.

Afterwards I headed home, got back to studying, had dinner, studied some more, and then watched a few episodes of “The Mentalist”. And now I’m writing (to) you.

Feelings Stage

Today I was feeling better than two days ago, but not as good as yesterday. This morning (afternoon), while studying, the memory of my breakup with my ex-girlfriend popped into my head. Now, it’s not that uncommon, that I think of her (or rather have some memories of her), but this moment always hits pretty hard. It always blocks like all thinking, and then I have to be cautious, not to let my mind run amok. Today, I dealt with it, by changing the music, and paying extra attention to it.

Every time this memory pops into my head, I feel bad. Sometimes I think, I should not have broken up with her. But then I (try) to remember, that I wasn’t really happy with her. (This sounds really mean, I don’t mean it that mean)

Then she’s in my head, and I usually wonder, how she’s doing (with the break up). I hope she’s doing good. It was basically the last time I spoke to her… It was like 3-4 months ago, but yeah. I wonder if (or how often) she thinks about us (or me for that matter)… I guess, I’ll never know.

A friend of mine told me once, that she thinks, that men usually feel worse later, and women more like right after the break up. I wonder if that’s true.

Usually, people say, that writing/ talking about things makes them better or something like this. But I gotta say, I don’t really feel like that. (At least right now.) Now it’s just all more open and active in my brain, so the bad feelings feel way more real/ intense right now. But who knows, maybe that’s the best long term strategy(?).

Why so Sad?

Now that I write this, I think, this feelings based approach is maybe not the best, because like this, it always ends with a sad touch. But hey, I’ll think about it!

So, in order to end this on a positive note, I gotta write something good to end this day. Just gotta figure out what…

I think, one good thing that happened today, was that I just finished the second chapter (of three) in my studies. Ah, and of course, my brother made Fajitas for dinner, which is always nice.

That’s it for today. Maybe I have more to write tomorrow. See you then!

My Day

Dear Diary! Today was an even less spectacular day than yesterday. Basically, I woke up, ate lunch, watched some episodes of “The Mentalist” and studied, ate dinner, studied some more, and watched some more of “The Mentalist”.

In my honest opinion, I think I’m kinda addicted to watching series. Or rather, to not studying. I know, maybe I have just some bad discipline, but it’s concerning me a little. Today, I didn’t do as much as I wanted to, but hey, there’s always a tomorrow.

I started with a special way of studying and watching at the same time. As we know, I have to learn some definitions and “sentences”/ lemmas and I’m trying to remember them with flash cards. So I started with the scheme, where: Any time, there’s a time-jump in the show, I have to repeat like 7 flashcards. And I gotta say, there area a lot of these time-jumps.

Also, Sometimes, I feel as if I don’t make any progress whilst learning my definitions. But when I see the good colors on “anki.com” I get a little dopamine. And that’s good. (Speaking like an addict. haha)

More Thinking about You

I had one more Idea, of how to write it, so it would be interesting to read.

Idea 3: Progress updates
This would be, I try to change something about me, or pursue a goal, on which I then daily report. Now, while writing this, I realized, that it would have to be something, which I can do daily, otherwise a diary would not make too much sense.

The bad part about idea 3 is, that I don’t know, what I would change about myself… But Who knows, maybe I find something soon…

So for now, I guess, I still do (try to do) an approach of idea 2 (feelings and thoughts based).

Confessions from Yesterday

Yesterday, I said, that I would write more about my feelings and/or thoughts. Point being: I did not do that yesterday… which is kinda ironic.

Yesterday I was feeling kinda down. Lately I was feeling down a lot. Most of the time it’s not the worst. It’s mostly like, I’m not motivated to do anything. Like anything at all. For example, when I’m asked, if I want to go out with my friends, I don’t want to. On an unrelated note, I thought, I should drink less, so that’s not too bad… But my not-drinking is for the wrong reason, which in turn makes it also somewhat not-good…

I don’t really know why this is… I suspect, it’s (at least partly) because it’s winter, hence less sun, which is always kinda depressing. Also, since I’m studying a lot, I spend a lot of time alone. Which is always kinda lonely. Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t really mind, to spend a lot of time alone. But there’s a limit; obviously.

Usually, I can figure out how my mood is, from observing, what music I listen to. Right now, it’s quite uplifting, so It’s not too bad. And the days are getting longer again, meaning: Summer is coming!

Good night

Now that’s a depressing note for the end of this day. But I don’t really have anything uplifting up my sleeve. So

Don’t be too sad, and I’ll see you tomorrow!

My Day

Dear Diary! My day really starts at lunch, but you know that already, so I won’t write that here. After Lunch, I had an appointment with my physical therapist. I go there, because my knees aren’t as good as I wished. I mean, I always had knee problems (for the first time, when I was like 12/13 years old). Then the problems disappeared again. But I’ve been playing volleyball lately (for the last 7 years) and now they were worse again. But I’m making progress. I’m nearly ready to play again. It took only 1 year to recover…

Enough of my knee problems. After my physical therapy session I headed home and started studying. I managed to read about two lectures. After my study-session, I had dinner. We had some mixture of potatoes, pasta, cheese and beacon (all in one pan) which is always nice.

After dinner I had to go to volleyball practice. Sadly not as a player, but as the coach. This took quite some time, but it also was kinda fun. As usual I did not really prepare any drills but had more of a vague idea of what should happen. They said, the practice was good. Now I can live with that.

Thereafter I headed home, and got back to studying. I solved exercises, for about two hours, then I watched an episode of “The Mentalist”, and now I’m writing (to) you.
I guess, I’m gonna finish this entry, watch one more episode and then head to bed.

Thinking about you

I was thinking a little bit, about writing in my diary. In the sense of: What should I write here? I never read a diary, so I was wondering, but I haven’t got an answer ready. But I had a few ideas. Mainly:

Idea 1: What happened this day
This would be, as it is currently. I believe this to be the usual way that a diary is written. Then I thought, “why would anyone read this?” and to be honest, I don’t know. This then also begs the question “do I really need anyone to read this?” And my answer to this is: Not really. I mean, it would be nice, but in reality I’m doing this for myself.

Idea 2: What I was thinking about/ feelings
This is the more personal approach. I think like this it would be more interesting, but is it really? I don’t know for sure.

I once saw a YouTube video, where some woman bought a diary off of amazon and read it. She said, that it was really interesting, since it was like, you were in the head of the person writing the diary. And I must say, I think this is quite cool. At least it sounds kinda cool.

Now that I think about it, I’d guess, most people writing diaries, write about their feelings and so. Otherwise, why would it be private?

So I guess, I’m transitioning now. I believe until now, I was mostly writing in the style of Idea 1, but I guess I’ll change that now (slowly). I don’t know, how it will turn out, but we’ll see. I still want the “My Day” section, but maybe a little shorter. I guess we’ll find the/ a correct way.

Outro

On a separate unrelated note: I thought, I need an outro, or something of this sort. Always at the end of the day, I get to the point, where I don’t know what to write, and then it’s this awkward transition to saying goodbye. To change that, I think, a small and simple sentence to sum it up would be nice. Like in the movie “The Truman Show” (which I did not see), he always ends his shows with

Good morning, and in case I don’t see you, good afternoon, good evening and good night!

and I think, this is a really good (and catchy) outro-like text. So something like that would be nice. (I’m not entirely sure, that I use this quote in the correct context, but to me this seems right.)

What should it sound like? I think, an uplifting good bye, maybe a thanks for reading (probably not – since, I always think it’s weird to write something like this), a see you tomorrow. A pun or rhyme would be catchy I think, so maybe something with that.

But now, dear Diary, I’m feeling tirey.
See you tomorrow!

My Day

Then I called the same friend again. We both have some friends in common, which sent us Christmas-cards some time ago. Both of us are somewhat (really) lazy, so I knew, ha hadn’t answered them [haha].
We then wrote 2 cards back together. One card was a serious one, with a good picture of us. The other one, was a joke card, where we put distorted pictures of them and wrote silly jokes on the back. I’m curious, what they’ll say, once they get the cards.

Later, for dinner, I had potatoes. Since I don’t like potatoes just as they are, I usually put some dressing and cheese on top of them, and then make a potato salad out of them. Completely different meal.

After dinner I was studying for some more (but not as much as I had hoped). I still got quite far. I also calculated, that if I can do a weeks work in two days, I’ll be finished at the right time.

That’s about it. Not much more happened… In the next few days it’ll be about like that. So I think I’ll start to read the “Tao Te Ching” soon, so I have something to talk about. With that being said.

Good Night!

My Day

Dear Diary! Today my family and I visited one of my mothers best friends. She lives like an hour away from us. She just moved in with a friend of hers and now they share an apartment. I also realized, that women generally have prettier apartments than men [haha]. It was really nicely decorated, like with lots of paintings, Christmas decor, and so on.
Her apartment was in an older house. They had 2 stories, which is always nice. They also had a hammock, which I thought was really cool. I used to have one of those, but not anymore ):

Factory re-utilization

Otherwise, not a lot happened today. I studied for a little, but was mostly too tired to focus. I also read one more lecture, so tomorrow I have to read one more, and then solve some exercises.