Blog

My Day

Dear Diary! Today, I got up at! Yey, one step better than yesterday already! I then made myself ready, and went to uni.
For some odd reason, we have to hand in our “homework” on paper, and since our printer at home didn’t work today, I had to copy all my notes from my iPad to paper. Really cool – mhm…
By coincidence I met Louis at the train station, but since I had to copy my “homework”, I couldn’t even talk to him.

Once I was in uni, the lecture only took one hour. I thought it’s gonna be 2. But the second hour was a question/answer hour for students with the assistants. So this didn’t really help me…

Algebra exam review

After this second hour, I could go and take a look at my algebra-exam. (I was a little disappointed, since I only had a 4.5.) Turns out, I don’t really understand what they don’t like. Some mistakes were clear, but others not so much. And annoyingly, they didn’t have notes on the exams – so you would have to ask the assistants. What a bother, am I right?
(One annoying mistake of mine was, that I mistakenly used the same variable for different things. Which then makes it seem wrong…)

Home Again

After all that, I went home and made myself some lunch. I had some sandwiches – nothing too special. And after those, I did the classic, and ate a piece of bread with olive oil and salt. Really delicious!

Then, in the afternoon, I was somewhat tired, so I watched some YouTube. After some time of doing that, I read a lecture of measure theory and made some flashcards. Also, I found out, that they publish the solutions of the “homework”, which s really practical. (At least it seems that way to me.)

Volleyball

After an afternoon doing that, I had dinner and then headed to volleyball practice. It was not really a good training… We just played a little, and left pretty soon. (Also, we were only 7 players – including me…)

After that, we went to shower (like you do) and since only 3/8 showers work in our changing-room, I went over to the women’s changing-room¹ to see if those work better. And as a matter of fact, they do! They even have a better floor than the men’s shower. So I showered over there.

Back home again – Problem with Replying

Once I got back home, I watched some YouTube and made myself ready for bed. (Also, I changed my bed-sheets just before!) Now I’m writing you. But I still have one small task left. That is: Emiliana and I exchanged some texts, but now I don’t know what to reply.

The last relevant part of the conversation is this:
* Her: I see, you got up early²
* Me: What can I say? The early bird catches the worm 🪱
* Her: I think so as well 😂😂

Now what do you reply to this?? Hello?

I think, I make an elephant out of a worm here (pun – haha), so yeah. It’s not like it’s gonna change anything…

Well, I guess, I’ll figure it out anyway. For now, I’m going to bed. I’ll see you again tomorrow! Bye-Bye!

---

I just changed all names (which I quickly found) with hypothetical ones. So now, it’s one more step anonymous (especially for them) and I can write names out now, so it’s easier to understand what I mean.

1. For obvious reasons it was empty, which I knew. ↩︎
2. Which is funny, since she got up like 3 hours before me. ↩︎

My Day

Dear Diary! Today, I initially wanted to go to university to listen to some lectures. Of course, my alarm rang, I thought: “doesn’t hurt, to spend some more time with my eyes closed – I don’t fall asleep anymore.” Little did I know, the next time I took a look at the clock, was an hour later; exactly, when the lecture begins. Dam! So I wrote my friend from uni (Lorenzo) and told him, that I overslept. Luckily, he was there, and he then sent me his lecture notes. So not too bad!

After texting him, I (of course) went back to sleep, since I still was tired… So then I woke up again for real, and had lunch.

Afternoon

Then, in the afternoon, I knew, that I had to solve the complex-analysis exercises, since I have to hand those in tomorrow. I, rather quickly, got started on those. Most took some time, but I solved all but one in the end. Which I think is good!

Also, we had a volleyball match coming up this evening (mixed). And of course, we weren’t enough people. So I did what I had to do, and asked someone to come help. I asked Emilliana which kinda is/was my current crush. (Sadly she’s got a boyfriend tho). Nonetheless I got somewhat nervous. I even started to shiver a little (haha). I texted her with some bad joke, and little do you know, she agreed and came to help out!

Volleyball Game

So – volleyball match: We had our first placement game. It was quite an easy game. It turned out, if all of us know how to play volleyball, we are actually a quite good team. WHAT?! Crazy right? So we had a quick 3:0 win.

Driving Home

After the game, we went home rather quickly, since Emilliana has to get up at like 6am and wanted to go to sleep.
In the car-ride home, we(mostly Emiliana and I) (weirdly) talked about sleep, which is one thing, I was “researching” quite a lot recently. Well rather, I asked why our sleeping-rhythm is not aligned with the night-rhythm. (midnight ≠ half time sleeping) And then some tangent about people in the middle-ages and how they did it and so on.

After that, we quickly talked some about Iceland (since we both were there – and it was kinda connected to that, since a lot of night in Iceland).

So some weird talk with her(?). Also, once she said: “[Name] thanks for this interesting(?) information about sleep” in a (how I perceived it) quite ironic way. But when asked if she meant it ironic, she said “no” (?). So yeah – you make of that what you want…
(It kinda sounded like someone who is new to giving compliments giving a compliment. But I think, she meant it in a good way – it was just kinda weird.)

Arriving at Home

Soon after that, I got home, and initially wanted to do my final exercise. I tried for about half an hour… I then surrendered; and watched some YouTube.

Now it’s too late already (again) so I go to bed now! Hopefully I don’t sleep in tomorrow as well! So that’s all for today. I’ll see you again soon! Bye-Bye!

---

(If I don’t forget it:) Tomorrow, I’m gonna change a lot of names here, to other ones. And I keep a “cheat-sheet” where I note who is who. Since
1. I have some friends with not-so-common names, you could figure out things about them, which they (probably) don’t want the public to know; and
2. I can write all the (fake-)names out, so it’s more clear (to me and probably you) who I’m talking about.
So I’m gonna break a rule, but that’s all I’m gonna change – so not too bad!

My Day

I slept for long – since yesterday, I fell asleep at like 5:15am. I even heard the first person get up. Too early for that. So I got up at about 11:30am. I only listened to some music and then had Lunch.

In the afternoon, I finished some exercises on measure theory and handed them in. Then I read one lecture, but couldn’t motivate myself to do more studying. This in turn means, I watched some YouTube. After some time, I felt bored watching YouTube, so I started to clean my desk (it was a real mess).

About an hour after my starting to clean my desk, I had dinner. For a short time after dinner, I got back to cleaning but then already had to leave and go to volleyball practice.

To be honest, I wasn’t really motivated to do that. Don’t really know why tho… One part is, that one of my players is a problem child. Since this is obviously not good, I should have a grown-up-talk with him. But I didn’t want to have this awkward conversation with him and some other players, so I just didn’t. The training still turned out really good (even though, we were only 5 players).

After the training, Daniel and I were the first to finish showering, so we waited outside. We were joking about the excuse we’ve gotten for canceling our murder-mystery-evening. (It was planned of cats – and their reason was, that their cat was sick, so it needed some calm time.)

Once I was back home, I finished cleaning my desk. It took like one more hour, but now it’s pretty much clean. Since one monitor was broken, I removed it, and now I have a lot more space which is nice. Also, I started to use 2 folders for all the letters which I had lying around.

After that, I spent some more time on YouTube, and soon I’ll go to bed.

Being Sad – Quit Volleyball?

Today evening was quite strange (?). I just wasn’t motivated to do anything.
(In some sense, I feel as if I were burned out a bit. I mean, it would make somewhat sense, since I only had one day holiday since Christmas with a lot of time studying.)

So because of that, I was also thinking of quitting volleyball. I mean, in some way, I feel as if I’m not motivated as I used to be. No. Like quite often, I don’t even want to go to practice. Maybe today was especially bad, since my knees hurt, but who knows…

Point being, I was somewhat depressed. Not like suicidal-depressed, more like “I don’t want to do anything”-depressed.

Doing a Love(?) Personality Trait Test

Just before, I was watching a wired question and answers video of a anthropologist – in this case Helene Fisher. In one answer she said, that she developed a test that categorizes you into 4 categories. And then she said, that depending of your category, she can tell you to which you are attracted to.

I thought this was interesting, so I quickly did this test here. Turns out I’m a “Director” and “Explorer”. And then I read to what I’m attracted to. Didn’t feel super new, but it’s kinda true.
So apparently I like the “Negotiator” and “Explorer” type. Some nice trivia right here.

---

Anyway, that’s all for today. I’m going to sleep now! Bye Bye!

---

P.S. I just thought, I need to find a better way to say good-bye at the end of the day. It feels just somewhat off like that. That’s all! Bye

My Day

Dear Diary! Today, I woke up with a light headache – not really surprising haha. I initially had planned to study some, but in the end I didn’t do any studying. So I had a chill day.

Since I didn’t get a lot of sleep, I took a nap after dinner. Now, that obvious bad thing, I am still awake at 3:50am. So my sleep-rhythm is completely dead…

I don’t really have anything more to say… My right knee hurts quite a lot today, maybe it’s because of the gym yesterday, or I did something stupid which I do not remember (haha).

So that’s it for today! I’ll take a shower now, and then go to sleep. Until tomorrow – Bye-Bye!

---

P.S. I had the (rather obvious) realization, that: If I get drunk, the next day is practically ruined. Not because I am too hung over, but because my motivation / discipline are complete goners…
Another reason, to not drink too much!

My Day

usual morning

gym (with louis; meet ellie); feeling weak (since 2nd time gym in 2 weeks)

Chilling at home

going to yanis – burgers and funny talks
– being homeless strats
– disappearing as a group of 3

going to look for further bars

yanis girlfriend joins

it’s late – we move to yanis & Leah’s home -> chilling
yanis barking / meowing out of the window

while walking home, we walked over a bridge. It was very beautifull, with “still”-water

going home

yurr

---

Dear biary

I’, really tired tight now. I had alot of fun today evening. Today, you see like one more picture, other than that, not a lot happened.

Since I’m too tired, drunk and it’s too late: Sleep good – See You Tmoroow! Bye-Bye!

My Day

Not studying – silly me
in the afternoon I (with the huge help of my mom) found my cloths for tomorrow. You’ll see tomorrow why this is important!

Drawing

In the afternoon, I watched a lot of videos about drawing. Like, what to do and so on. So I probably start doing that soon. Maybe on the first of March. So I can easily see, how long I’m already drawing.
I think, I will only draw with a pencil – so without color.

Volleyball match

We had another match today evening. It was funny, since from the opponent team, neither the ref nor their coach appeared. But we all knew, that this would not matter. In the end we’d win 3:0. It was a terrible match, but still took one hour, so not too bad.
After the match, Louis and I went to the MacDonald. I had a crispy chicken burger. Super cool

Am I ready?

first time thinking, “I want a girlfriend again”. Because one of my players brought his girlfriend to his match, and then this got me thinking: “Man, it really would be nice, if that were me”. Not that I would date his GF (because I wouldn’t) but you get what I mean.

---

Right now, I’m not really motivated to write more, so that’s all for today. I’ll see you again tomorrow. Bye-Bye!

My Day

Dear Diary! Yesterday, after going to sleep, I had a really bad coughing attack. I laid in bed for like 1.5 hours trying to sleep. Twice I nearly fell asleep, but then the coughing returned and then all the progress (of trying to fall asleep) vanished.

So, today, when I got up, I was really tired. And to make matters worse: My throat hurt more than yesterday! Makes sense, since I coughed a lot, but still – whyyy?

Anyway, I had some bread with olive-oil and salt for breakfast, got ready and left for university. Today was my first exercise-hour this semester. As expected, nothing really important happened. The other assistant is new to me, so we talked a little bit. In advance, I told myself, that I want to try to lead the conversation a bit. Just for some social-skills improvement. And I gotta say – I think I did quite well.

Weird thoughts / My Type(?)

Now this may be really mean / weird, but while she was sitting down, her upper body looked quite good. So I thought (like the man I am) I’d tap that. ?????? Weird ass thoughts – but it was already too late, once I realized that. (haha – in shame). But then, once she got up to answer a students question, I saw her butt and then I figured, that’s not really a nice shape. So in hindsight, I wouldn’t “tap that”.
This got me to the realization, that for me, a well shaped butt is quite important. It does not have to be big – but nicely shaped is important. Otherwise, it looks not very active / like the person does any sports.

SBB-App Shenanigans

Anyway, after this exercise-hour, I didn’t have any more lectures, so I went home again. Now, today I tried to “cheese” the SBB-app. That means, there is this feature, where you can swipe when you enter a train, and then swipe again once you leave. And today I tried, if I just don’t swipe, once I’m at the university, maybe it doesn’t really count the journey, since I would have moved from home -> home.
Sadly, this did not really work. Especially, since I have a 2h window where the ticket is valid. So I couldn’t even really test that. But I will try again next Tuesday (probably). I’ll tell you then.

So once I was home again from that all, I tried some measure-theory exercises, and watched a lot of YouTube. I still have quite a lot of time, this week, since I don’t have anything to grade, so I can relax a bit more. Good good.

This afternoon another annoying thing happened. My second monitor broke. For no reason at all. I tried everything (restarted PC, unplugged cables = everything) but that didn’t work. The problem is, that it just shows a black screen EXCEPT, if you restart the monitor, it shows the correct image for about 1sec. But then it turns black. I have no clue why this is… So maybe I’ll soon buy another monitor.

Drawing

I thought about doing a challenge, where I paint 10 min every day. The first 5 minutes, I try to “copy” something; and for the second 5 minutes, I take a look at first, and then draw for 5 minutes, without looking again.
I would do this, because like that, I have “both stages” so to speak; I want to be able to draw rather swiftly; and I could correct myself once done drawing (so I could check for errors / to see, where to improve).

So I think, I’ll buy a nice pen and a notebook to practice in soon. right now, I think it would be nice, if I could effortlessly tear the pages out – so maybe I’ll see a notebook with that “feature”.

Time to go to Bed

Otherwise, nothing more important happened. So that’s all for today. I’ll see you again tomorrow. Bye-Bye!

My Day

Dear Diary! Today, I stayed home again because of the sickness. Luckily, it’s almost over. In the morning, I had still some pain while swallowing, but in the afternoon, I realized, that it’s mostly gone. So my throat feels mostly okay now. But the coughing is not really gone… It’s gotten better, but the later in the evening, the more I cough. (But it’s way less than yesterday!)

For lunch, I had some bread with some olive-oil and salt. This is really good. And (in silence) I think, this might helped, to soften up my throat. 😉

Charities – European Bison

Otherwise, I did not do too much today. I solved most of my measure theory exercises, and spent too much time on YouTube. During dinner, mom was telling us, that my dad was starting to give some money to (basically) every charity, that sends them a check. With that she’s fine, but then these charities send (or sell) each other my parents address, so now they get wayyy more charity checks.

Then we were talking a little bit about what charities we support, and then I told them, that I would support a charity, which would restore the wild European bison. At first they didn’t agree, but once I told them, that they were native here, they agreed. So now I hope, that soon a charity would open, which tries to restore the European bison!

Just imagine it. You go for a walk in a forest, and then suddenly a wild herd of bison appears. How cool is that? You might think “dangerous” but no. These are very gentle creatures. So it would be cool!

New Hobby?

More than that did not really happen today. I was thinking, that I have a little much free time, so I could start to do something new. I then thought about drawing. Drawing would be cool. So maybe I’ll pick that up.
One reason for that is, that if I do my week of no electricity, I could document it with drawings. I think that would make a cool book.

That’s about all for today. I’ll see you again tomorrow! Bye-Bye!

My Day

Dear Diary! Today, I stayed at home sick. Nonetheless I did more than yesterday. Well, “more” in the sense of studying. I read some lectures, and tomorrow I’m gonna do some exercises. Other than that I did not really do anything. Well, watching a lot of YouTube – but it’s becoming kinda boring ngl. I think of doing a no-all again. That would mean no YouTube or any other social media thingies for that matter.

No-Electricity-week(s)

Speaking of that, I’m often thinking about a two-week-session of no electricity this summer. So cooking only with fire, no artificial lights in the evening, and so on. Basically only using mechanical energy (and chemical) but no electrical.

I think, that could help to answer some questions like the purpose of life. Since currently I’m (like a real mathematician) asking myself if it even exists. I tend to “not really”, so it would become to survive (and reproduce), and if I make it “harder” for myself, it should become more clear. At least that’s my current thinking…

Grades

Today, I got my second grade back. In the ODE exam I have a 4.0. This means I pass with the worst possible grade. I’m not really happy with that. On the one hand, it’s good, since I don’t have to redo the exam, but on the other hand: it’s really bad. And I feel like, if I retake an exam, I could easily be better than that…

Sickness Update

I’m improving quite good. I’m coughing less than yesterday (especially during the day – worse in the evening). On the other hand, my throat hurts more – especially when swallowing. I think, I’ll stay at home tomorrow as well.

Being over someone pt. 7(?)

Before when taking a shower, I was asking myself (again), what it means to be over someone. More specifically: How often can you think of someone, with being over them?

Now, it’s quite obvious, that I will never forget her (my ex), but I strongly believe, that with more time passing, I will think of her less and less. I expect it to be a sort of a exponential decay – so always decreasing, but never getting to zero.

With that in mind: How often is little enough, to start watching for someone else? I don’t really know the answer to that. Maybe, once I have like a whole week without thinking of her. But we’ll see.

Another (contrary) point to that would be: it’s quite hard, to get away from something, without another aim. In this context, this would mean: It’s hard to stop thinking of her, without another “crush” or potential partner in sight (to aim for).
But to that, I’d also say, it’s not entirely fair to the new partner, since you aren’t really done with the last partner, so it just feels somewhat incomplete(?).

In conclusion: I don’t know. Basically like ever before. I expect, in the end it will be just some thinking like “I’ve been lonely/single for long enough” and “I’m mostly over her”.

Tips for Next Relationship

A little while ago, I was kinda “researching” if there are any “predictors” for if a relationship will hold for a long time. And in one video I watched, the creator told us: If you have three questions to figure out, if you are in a happy relationship, you don’t ask questions about the relationship, but if the persons themselves are happy.

I guess that means, the “matching” of you and your partner is not that important. It’s more important, that you are happy yourself, then it’ll work out. So for the next relationship, I thought, in order to “measure”/ figure out how “good” the relationship is, I first need to figure out, how happy I am. Then ask myself for how “good” the relation ship is. So I can un-bias (in a way) whatever the score is. (With an arbitrary bias shift – mhm)
This is my one “tip” to myself for my next relationship. Asking myself if I’m happy, and if not, keeping that in mind when thinking about the relationship.

Sleepy Sleep

That is all for today. Since it’s already late in the night, I’ll go to bed shortly. I’ll see you again tomorrow. Until then – take care and Bye-Bye!

My Day

In the morning, I finished my semester planing, and added the lectures to my calendar app. I hope, that with that, I go to uni somewhat often.

After lunch, I had a physio appointment. We talked a bit, and came to the conclusion, that I don’t need any more appointments. We also had the agreement, that if my knees would get worse, I could go again, since my doctors “note” is still viable for about 2 months.
I once talked with a other physio, and she told me, if they want to gossip about patients, they have to take pictures of them, so all know, who is talked about. And then today I asked my physiologist, if they have a similar rule. She found it very funny, but then denied all such rules. (Which of course, she’d also do, if they had a rule like this…)

After that, I took the train heading to uni. But since my lecture had already started, and I saw that I have a script of the lecture, I changed my mind. I was already in the train (going in the wrong direction) so I exited and took the train back. Funnily enough, I met the wife of a player of my team with their toddler. So I talked a little bit with them.

Back at home, I didn’t really feel like doing anything, so I chilled for some more, had dinner, and then took a shower. Also, since I didn’t really do any studying today, I’m basically already behind on the first day. yey. super cool.

Also, I quickly need to mention, that I have a sore throat, and am coughing a lot. (One part is, that I want to know, when it started (saturday-ish) and the other part is as an excuse, as to why I didn’t do a lot today.)

Shower Thoughts pt. 2

In the shower I had some weird-ish thoughts. Mostly I was thinking about ex gf. But not in a normal way, but mostly sorta jealous (?) because another player hanged with her yesterday (after our game), and idek why this made me sort of jealous.

One other thing was: I was thinking about ex, like miss her, and think about the sex and so on. Which is weird, since I don’t often get the missing her feeling. But I don’t think this means anything.

Possible reason: I feel like getting sick -> bad thoughts (like more depressing) and with that all the thinking about the ex and so on…
But who knows(?).

That’s all for today. I’ll talk to you again tomorrow! Bye-Bye!

---

P.S. I just remembered, that I forgot something last friday (February 14). Mainly, in the sauna, I talked sometimes with Daniel, but I also spent a suspiciously big amount of time thinking about my ex. But then, it was mostly, because the last time bofore that I was in the sauna, was with her, away in a spa-weekend. So that was quite a lot on my mind.
Just wantef to write that down real quick.

So now: Sleep well! Ciao